Ontario Community Newspapers

Flesherton Advance, 13 Feb 1946, p. 6

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Time Is Nothmti We're iiiilimil to .mi in 4^ ko* pel aiiyihiiiK that iIm^^ Ciusi^iaii grenadiers whu sctvt- as duorimn at the hifi iiunic luuisfs climist !.â-  yell down our thrii;ils. Iiiii wc were simirttii;ii flu'^tciccl iiu otlKi night when ive heard the mie oiit- •ide tile Astor Thcaln iinmiiiiicc clearly. " I hcte will l)e uniiicdiiite seating iii half an hour ' Peace Spectacle To the children of boinhscarrcd England peace has liruuKht niHiiy wonderful things, thiiiK? never known before to the sinall fry whuse memories are too short to recall the days before the war. A little girl in London, return- ing hnnie on a bus, looked hard at the young man collecting the fares, and exclaimed excitedly, "Oh, look. Grandpa I It's a man conductress."â€" Wall Street Journal. A Drawback "My poor fellow," said the old lady, "here is a shilling for you. Goodness, gracious, it must be dreadful to be lame, but just think how much worse it would be if you were blind." "Yer right, lady," agreed the beg- gar. "When I was blind I was al- ways getting counterfeit money ' Too Late .Aftei kaviiiy hi.s cluircb the min- ister stopped to shake hands with a voung woman who wa« a new mrinliei o\ liis rungreualiiMi In tlu^ ciiursf ot < DMVi isalion liu- mm- isli-i remarked hnw pleased he al- ways was to welcome new mem- bers to the fhiirth. The vouns woman l)hishcd prettily "It's very kind ol yon to say so." Not at all." replied the minister. "Just let me have your name and address, and I will be able to call and see you." "Olil" stammered the girl. "1 â€" er â€" I'm afraid you're too late. I've got a boy friend already." Cheap A doctor was knocked up in a small village about 3 a.m. by a man who asked him to come out immediately to a place len mi'eg away. The doctor dressed quickl.) and got out his car, and they drov: furiously to their destination. Upon arrival the man asked: "What is your fee, doctor." "Half a guinea," he replied in some surprise. "Here it is, then," said the man handing over the money, "and cheap, too. The garage man wanted thirty bob to drive me over." U. S. REPRESENTATIVE B- SIDE GLANCES By Galbraith HORIZONTAL 1,6 Pictured new U. S. Representa- tive, Mrs. Luce. 11 Weep. 14 Fun. 15 Idolize. 16 Falsehood. 17 Aromatic plant. 18 Tellurium (symbol). 19 Year (abbr.). 20 Russian river, 21 Uncommon. 23 Diaphanous. 25 Ocean. 27 Kach (abbr.). 28 Entangle. 31 Right (abbr.). 32 Arabian garment. 35 Beverages. 37 Dry. 38 She has written sev- eral . 40 Pocketbook. 41 Young goat. 43 Sanctified person. 46 Table linen. Answer to Previous Puzzle 49 Powerful explosive (abbr.). 50 Leader. 54 Age. 55 United King- dom (abbr.). 56 Rhode Island (abbr;). 57 Australian bear. 58 Intellect. 59 Punitive. 61 Mistake. 62 So (Scot.). 63 Famous Bel- gian violinist who died in 1931. 64 Article of value. VER"nCAL 1 Burn. 2 Moon goddess. 3 Mohammedan noble (var.). 4 Flowers, 5 Before. 6 Flying mammal. 7 Poem. 8 Hawaiian bird. 8 Attempt. 10 Frames for drying skins for parch- ment. 11 Ball of thread 12 Prevalent. 13 12 months. 22 Rank. 24 Laughter .sound. 26 Erbium (symbol). 28 Cartograph. 29 Every. 30 Afternoon party. 32 Arrive (abbr.) 33 Twice (prefix). 34 American humorist. 36 Small stream (var.). 37 Originators. 39 Like sirup. 40 Promissory note (abbr.). 42 Levees (var.). 43 Deviate. 44 Imbecile. 45 That thing. 46 Fresh tidings. 47 Operatic solo 48 Top of head. 51 Auricles. 52 Liliaceous plant. 53 Short lance. 57 Parrot. 60 Symbol for sodium. "Mom, I invited Dorothy over for dinner â€" she doesn't eat much and she's a whiz on fractions!" 1 z 3 4- S 6 n e 9 10 1'^ II a 13 !«» 15 16 17 le m 19 10 11 3J 1 75 2S if. 21 28 J3 30 31 ^Pi 32 33 3^ 3S 36 i 31 3B 33 « 41 4Z 43 ^ AS d t* *? »e i 45 II SO 5( S2 S3 S*}- £S M S6 S7 so SS (0 £1 6i ^^^^ <i3 _ <4- 4 Well Suited Having chosen the cloth for a new suit and had his measure- ments duly taken, the young man said apologetically to the tailor: "I'm afraid 1 shan't be able to pay you for three months." "That's quite all right," the tailor said amiably "Oh, jolly decent of you!" said the young man. "When will the suit be ready." "In three months, sir," was the polite answer. A Full Plate "Now, Tommy," said the teach- er, " let me see how much you remember of my lesson on whale fishing. Can we eat the flesh of the whale?" "Yes." answered Tommy. "Good boy," said the teacher "and what do we do with the bones?" There was a moment's pause, and then Tommy said with de- terrnination: "We leave them on the side of our plate, miss." VOICE OF THE PRESS Lower Education An elderly .icfiuaintaiice. of phil- osophical uiulcncies, in discu.ssiii!; the current wave of luvenile and adolescent delinrpieiicy says "A pat on the back is a good thinj?. prj- viding it IS applied early enoiuii 111 life, often enough, and low enough." â€" St. Thomas Tinies-Jonrnal. Hal Ha! A psychologist says that in 100 years people will have nfthing t-.' hugh at. We â- â- 'on't get i'., Tli;.-c will be old aibuMis. with piclunjs oi the ladies' hats ol I'.i4((. â€" Otiawa Citizen The Weaker (?) Sex Woman may be physically weaker than man, but she can put a cap on a fruil par so tight he can't •take it off! â€" Wall Street Journal Smart Fellow As the old fellow suffering from lumbago said, when he struggled out of the chair: "It's the getting up that gets me down." â€" Stratford Beacon-Herald Relative Values A cheque on your overdraft at the bank is valueless. But a check or, your living expenses is as good <â- .« cash. â€"Quebec ChronicleTelegraph Vou Will Rnioy Slayina: At The St. Regis Hotel TORONTO a Evtry Ruam trltU Ruth, Showet and Telephone. S Single, 8'.!.nO up â€" Doulile. S3..'S0 up. % Good Food, DIcinB nnd Dane Ins 1VlKh«ly. Sfaerbourne at Carlton Tel. RA. 413S Fiery, Itching Skin Gets Quick Relief Here Is a clean stainless penet- rating antiseptic oil that will tiring you speedy relief from the Itching and distress ot Eczema, Itching Toes and Feet, Rashes and skin troubles. Not only does this healing anti- septic oil promote rapid and healthy healing in open sores and wounds, but boils and simple ulcers are also quickly releived. In skin affections â€" the Itching of Eczema Is quickly stopped; the eruptions dry up and scale off In a very few days. The same is true of Barber's Itch, Salt Rheum and other skin eruptions. You can obtain Moone's Emerald on at any modern drug store. HOLD EVERYTHING "Ooh â€" honorable commander must have lost face!" Selling Tip When Thomas Lipton was a youngster '. e spent much time in his father's grocery store and wit- nessed, with unmistakable disap- proval, the elder Liplon's lack of »howmaiisliip. One day he watched unhappily as his father attempted to sell a customer a half dozen eggs. After the customer had gone he said: "Father, you sliniiUI let Mother sell the eggs." "Why?" asked the father in sur- prise. "Well." replied the future mil- lionaire, "Mother's hands are a lot smaller than yours, and the eggs would look bigger." THE SPORTING THING [HOBBY SQ UaBI «' â- ^](|l ^%k:. "Pa's the patient type!" MUTT AND JEFF Maybe They Should Have Ordered A Sinatra Sandwich A La Fromage By BUD FISHER HERE'S ^â- VES.mXHe SPIWONIO ^ HEW. OWNER VERMATELLl,J\0?Trte PLACE! REG'LAR FELLERSâ€" Going Up! OI<rAV; MEIMâ€"TWISLL GETCMA AIR-MINDED BV EASV STAGES^ Only His Watch .•\ wcll-lo-do .\'c.i,'ro IkkI hccn ill for some time and showed no signs of jniproveincnl under treat- ment .hy a doctor ol his own race. So pre.<;etilly he di.sniis.«.t<I liim and suniiUDiied a white man. The new doctor examined the (laticnt. and then ashed: "Did the otiici doctor fake your tcnipcralure?" The .'iick man 'hook his head douhtfiilly "I chinno. suh." he declared. "I sartiny dunno. All I've missed so far is my watch" Experience Necessary "Madam." said the iitw care- taker to the lady who had lust employed him. "I want to thank you for giving me the ioh, and ask you one question. I notice that you advertised for a married man. Does that mean that you will have some work in vour home for my wife?" "Oh. no." replied the woman. "1 wanted a married man so as to be sure I'd get someone used to taking orders from a wo.-naii."â€" Wall Street Journal. 0^ '^OUJIA' mtV I'll go to Slee^ My COLD is bene yesâ€" Mothers BUCKLEY'S STAINLESS WHITE RUB Does Give Forfer Relief This faster penetrating Rub really does bring quick relief to either kiddies or grown-ups. Rubbed briskly over chert; tnroat and shoulder bloaes, it helps create a glowing warmth, breaks up con- gestion, eases breathing â€" BUCKLEY^ WHITE RUB must oive relief in less time or money back. Price 30c and 50c Sold everywhere. STAINLESS WHITE RUB By GENE BYRNES THIS 13 THE SECOND TEST- WHEN we FINISH WE'LL TPy TVI' LAST AN' TOUGHEST OF ALL/ MEN-IM HAPpy TO SAY VOU COMPLETED TH' DUSAN AEfiONAUTlCAL COURSE WITH FLVIN" COLORSâ€"â€" THEREFOeE, I'M PROUC5 T'GIVE you TWtSE WERE PILOTS LICENSES / POPâ€" Pop's Impressed by Rank By J. MILLAR WATT I SUPPOSE YOU KWOW I'M THE BRI6APIER I 1 â- * > 1 4- A .h. â- * * •4 I

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