Ontario Community Newspapers

Flesherton Advance, 5 Apr 1933, p. 3

The following text may have been generated by Optical Character Recognition, with varying degrees of accuracy. Reader beware!

Expecting a Baby? Send for btHtklet "Baby't Welfare" FREE! rT OUR FREE to new mothers â€" •xpeccant mothers â€" 84 pages on â€" o Care bcfor* baby comet. • Layette. Baby'a balfa, deep, bowela, weight. * LateA finding! oo feeding. â- â€¢Da«. Taromu. Ca, Umlwd, 11 • Addrm ...SMILES... >tii>«»«»»»>»» On the Links "Do you play golf?" he asked. "No," she replied demurely. "I don't even know how to hold a cad- die.' Manager â€" "A customer has made a complaint that the coffee tastes like mud." Cook (facetiously) â€" "Tell him it was ground this morning." , A man can get married on $10 a â- week, but if he stays married he has • to get more than that. Teacher â€" "Does the giraffe get a sore Uiroat if he gets wet feet?" Piipil^"yeB, but not until next week." CROSS-WORD IT Amusing Anecdotes Of Famous People One of the amusing stories told by Major-General Sir Ernest D. Swin- ton (in "Eyewitness: And The Origin ii.ore recently, George Moore. .A-nJ the stories were worth all the laboi' he spent on them. • • • It -.va while Herbert Spencer was a gusst of Grant Allen at "The Nook," Dorltlng. t' .:t the famous Btory of the philosopher's ear-clips of The Tank"), concerns his meetinif leaked out. i with Edna Ferber, the novelist. Miss. "How it got out we never discov-j Ferbcr and General Swinto'i â€" who'tred," says Richards. "My uncle was â-  had come to the United .states as furious that this eccentricity on the aide to Lord Readingâ€" were touring part of his guest should become the the country in behalf of the Third subject of paragraphs. But it is true Liberty Loan drive. Their parties \ r-evertheless. The philosopher carried met in Iowa one day and the General, I clips in pocket so that if the conver- i.i a humorous mood, told Miss Ferber j sation was not to his taste, or if he confidentially that at the last place, thought it unworthy of attention, he where his party had spoken twenty I could apply them to his ears and fall people had been crushed to death buck on his jwn thoughts for corn- trying to get into the hall to hearl panionship." them. I . • • "Was that so, General?" asked j Here's a story of Zola â€" told by Miss Ferber, "And how many were sir William Rothenstcin, the artis crushed trying to get out after you sUrted?" FREE TRIAL OFFER KRUSCHEN It you have never incil KriUtclieii- try it auw at our ex|ieiise. We have distriljiited s great inuiiy s|K-ciaI " GIANT " puckugn which miikr it easy for you to prove our cJultim fur yourself. Ahk your dni^gist fur tJie new " GIANT " 73e. |)!itrkai;e. Thli connltu of our rpgiiltr 7.'.c. b<ittle togciberi witij a M't>arAttf trial b'ittli â€" silfflricnt ((ir abouu ooa week. <iih:u the triid bottle ilrvt, iJiit It to' ttia trM, and tiien, II not entirely convinced Uiat KruKhen ilops nver>'thiiii( M^e cUtm 11 Ut <io, thf reeular I><itt4e is Mill lia cxnl u new. Take it back. Your •lru;!itl^t it ^utliorUed to reiunt Tour 7r*(r. iiuiiirtllately and without <iuMUoa« Von liave triel Kruhhfn free, at our expriiie. Wli»t cuuid be (airor ? • .Wnnuloftiirod by B. Grimtlis nuKhri, I.tl., Mani:lie<t«r, Kii«. (Esub. !7M). fmpurter»: Mc01Ulvr«r Droe., Ltd.. r,tr«,iiln. Classified Advertising AjaTicx.£s ros 8ax.i:. Horizontal 45â€" Type unit 20 â€" Beverage 1â€" To drink 47â€" Circle 22â€" Paths 4 â€" Lower animal 49â€" Divided 23â€" Up to 9â€" Sail 63â€" Dog 24â€" Part of "to be" 12â€" To be due 57â€" Hole 26â€" Chief 13 â€" LLstlessness 6Sâ€" Vegetable dish 28 â€" Conjunction H â€" One-spot 60 â€" Spanish for river 29 â€" Parts of machine 15â€" Rang 61- To mimic 30â€" Item of property 17â€" Trans fi.xed 62â€" Grin 32â€" Poem 19â€" Space 63 â€" Japanese cola 33â€" Child 21â€" Sun god Vertical 35 â€" Later than 22â€" Jewel 39 â€" Musical note 25â€" High mountain 1â€" To cut 40 â€" Organ of head 27 â€" Senatorial robe 2â€" Fear 41 â€" Comparative ending 31â€" Number 3â€" Edible seed 44â€" Self 32 â€" Musical compositions 4 â€" Beverage 46â€" State of confusion 34â€" Adjoiulng 5â€" Tries 48â€" Knot 35â€" Fuss 6 â€" Article 49 â€" Watering place 36â€" Electrified particle 7â€" To eat 60â€" Part of body 37â€" While 8â€" Row â- 51 â€" Consumed 38- Dissimilar 9â€" Small load 52 â€" Obstruction 41â€" Before 10â€" To cool 54â€" Arid 42 â€" Narrow board 11 â€" Couch 55â€" Falsehood 43â€" Pouch 16â€" Song - 56â€" Age 44 â€" Former 18â€" Point in Panama 59â€" Fifty-one. and retold by G.ant Richards: "Zola sat to me in Paris," Rothen- -tein â€" then a young artist â€" is re- Coming from a lecturer "as is a ported as saying. "He was very cross lecturer," this from Stephen Lea-' that morning, I remember. It wasj cock is amusing: | just after he had come back f rom | "No one likes lecturing except I Lourdes and he was wearing a monic's those who can't do it. A dull lee-! habit as a kind of dressing gown. He turer enjoys his own performance ' said 'that he never looked at a pic- immensely." ture show now,' and so I remarked Professor Leacock is telling (in that books had lately entirely ceased Mark Twain" â€" a little masterpiece to interest me. After that he never BEATTY PUMPS ARE BEST AND must <"eonomii.'ul to operate. Write for free Illustrated catalogue to Bealty Bros. Limited. Box luG, (W), Fergus, Ontario. he sings in the rain. The only thing that travels faster than light, to a wo- man's mind, is a run in her new chlf- i fon hose. Asked what he did when his wife started to give him a lecture, a I man said: "I listen." Arguments It is mighty easy to © an optimist i make few friends. The man who irben everything is going your way. Cure For Seasickness A plan you might try is to bolt down your meals. comes home whipped at 'night is usual- ly the man who went out whipped in the morning. Fools rush in where wise girls fear to wed. The more a man really knows, the less certain he Is that he really knows anything. "1 didn't cry at the dentist's, dad," Informed Willie on his return. "Good," said Dad. "I like a brave boy. I must give you a shilling. Did he hurt you much?" "No, dad; ho was out," answered Willie. Father â€" "So you want to marry my Clay Mudd, editor of The Brushville daughter? Have you considered her Bngle, received from a lady who lives ' family in this matter?" Gladys (indignantly) â€" "Smoke a cigarette? Good gracious, I'd rather kiss the first man who came along*" Edith â€" "So would I, but have one while you're waiting." In Pea Ridge, a little poem entitled: "I Wonder if You Miss Me?" After read- ing it, Mr. Mudd returned the poem to (he lady, with the following note: ^ "Dear Madam: It he does, he ought never to be trustet'. with firearms ' »gain." The world will never get any better until children become tiuite an im- provement over their parents. Suitor â€" "I have, sir. I love that girl so much I'd be willing to put up with anything." Hunter (as he came panting up l<3 [ one of the party) â€" "Just met a great big bear in the woods!" Other Hunter â€" Good! Did you give blm both barrels?" Hunter (wiping his perspiring brow) Blessed is the man who can disagree with me without getting mad about it. orated in green â€" a delicate jade tone. One of the many virtues of the green room from the point of view of the flower-lover, is that it affords an artistic background for flowers in all seasons of the year. <. British Firm Designs Maharajah's Palace »Xun A British firm has designed a mod ern lalace for the modern Maharajah Both barrels! I gave him the whole! ^f Jodhpur. ' Building has begun. The palace Answers to Last Week Puzzle ^! 11 OK ^. m ^, of compressed biography) how poor Mark grew to abominate lecturing, but, alus! needed the money. Following his marriage to Olivia Langdon â€" his beloved "Levy" â€" in February, 1870, Mark Twain lived in Buffalo, N.Y., i:. a house presented by his father-in-law. Here is a bully picture of the "Innocents at Home," done in the best Leacock manner. "Behold then Samuel L. Clemensâ€" now become for everybodr Mark I Twain, the great American humorist â€"the rough days of his western life I ut behind him, settled down at num- ber 472 Delaware .A.venue, Buffalo, trving hard to be respectable. • * • "Here he lives the model life of a family man, joins in morning prayer and listens as best he ca.i to the daily reading of the Scriptures. More than that, he even makes desperate efforts to give up smoking. "He has his wife at his side, his desk at his elbow, and the world at his feet. After all, what does to- bacco matter? Let's have another chapter of Deuteronomy. • • » A story is told of a book publisher who, wishing to rid himself of his bothersome authors, determined to write his own books; did so, and lived happily ever after. That does net apply to Grant Richards, well- known English publisher â€" although spoke ing." till I had finished, the draw- Mrs. Reginald de Koven's first meeting with Oscar Wilde took place in the London apartment of her frienci, Mrs. Montton. "Where in the world do you come fiom?" demanded Oscar in a loud v'uce after the presentation had been made. "I was born in Chicago," Mrs. de Koven replied. "There was a look of horror in his expression," declares Mrs. de Koven in "A Musician and His Wife," "as; he answered: 'Never, no, never; your j parents have deceived you!" i » • • W. Somerset Maugham, who has. made a lot of money from his plays and novels during the last thirty years, is also one of the ablest physi- cian.s and surgeons in England. He ia a member of the Royal College of Su.'geons and a licentiate of tlie Royal College of Physicians. Maug- ham's first novel, "Liza of Lam- beth," took literary London by storm. • • • Dr. Maugham has a brother, Fred- erick Harrison Maugham, noted bar- rister and a King's Counsel, who also wields a literary pen. He is the au- thor of "The Case of Juan Calas," being a study of a real case â€" that of a Huguenot cloth merchant who was BUBZVESB OFFOBTUMITLUB. HIGH-CLASS DELICATESSE.N A.ND dairy produce, profltabl bustneiia. Tobac-co-stallonery, money-maker. Both barg:!iii!i. Business Service Bureau. 71 Adelalile West . Toronto REPBESEITTATITE WASTED AH 1 O, h I- Y Sl'O.NSUUED GOLD syndicate re<iuir :, a man of r«- sponslblllty as representative in thla community. A '.Tcctivp remuneration to right party. Write 908 Sterling Tower, Toronto. JTO- PT7ZEI.ES. THE -.MUDDLE' â€"3u0. Extra thick pieces, large size. Beautiful pic- tures. We sell thousands weekly in To- ronto. Mailed <.n receipt of 25c each. In stamps. Flack Novelty Co., 61 Sher- bournp St.. Toronto. . WOOL. FAR-MERri DESIROUS O H.WIXG their wool manufactured or ex- changed for woollen goods, write The Horn Bros. Woollen Co. Ltd.. Lindsay. Ontario. .^___^___ UTEBABV CANADIAN AUTH(>RS AXD COM- POSERS are invited to forward MSS of all types to publishers of thirty years' standing. Fifty pounds cash offer- ed for Poems. Current Catalogues an4 full advice free. .\dt!re.ss. Stockwell, Ltd 2'> T-iid)--rit«' ITiil. l...iidon. EnKJand. PATBHTS. 4 N OFFER TO EVERY INV^NTOH- A List of wanted Inventions and full Information sent free. The Bamaay Com- pany, .Wi rid Patent Attorneys. 2.3 Bank Street. Ottawa. Canada. ^^ irOBSEBY STOCK. Or.DER NURSERY STOCK DIRECT. Save dollars by getting my price* on Items vou nee-l. Standard Nursery, Fonthill. Ont. A. Roszeil. prop. TABKS F~B SAIiE. NOVA SCOTIA F RMS FOR SALE. Also hotels, businesses, summer re- iorts. Free list. Hugh McCallum. Truro. V The minister asked his little girl if •be liked his sermon, and she said "No." "Well, what did you likeâ€" the first part?" "Yes." "Did you like the last part?" "Yes." "Well , what part didn't you like?" "Oh," said she, "there was too much middle." "Did you keep to the diet I pre- scribed for you?" "I've tried to, doctor, but it hasn't been easy." will cover six acres and stand on a 120-ft. hill overlooking the capital of the State. It will contain: A circular swimming bath sixty feet round. >Ballrootn. Theatre built on modern lines to hold 200. A bai.hroom to every suite of rooms â€" forty in all. A zenana, or part of the house for the women of the fan.ily, with a two- acre walled garden overlooking the city. The palace will cost £3OO,'J00 (about i $1,200,000). It would have cost much "Nonsense! I said you were to eat , niore in England, but labor and ma what your three-year-old baby-boy \ terials in Jodhpur are cheap. eats.' "Yes, doctor, I know. Candles, pieces j «. of coal, shoe-laces. India-rubber.'' I Elxpert to Produce 459.41 Degrees Below Zero Berkeley, Cal.â€" The coldest spot on earth will be in a laboratory at the University of California here if equip- ment now being installed will produce the 459.4 degrees below zero Pahre.i- Iieit it is expected to produce. This point is known as absolute zero, or "no heat" point. As absolute zero is approached, molecules and atoms lose more and more of their energy. At this point they would, theoretically, have little or none, ac- cording to Prof. W. F. Giauque who with yjther members of his department have developed the apparatus. Natural scientists have for years sought the absolut-> "no heat" point, it is explained. By means of the evap- oration of liquid helium it has been possible to get within 1.4 degrees Fahrenheit of absolute absence of heat. .J True joy is a serene and sober mo- tion: and they are miserably out that take laughing for rejoicing; the seat of it is within, and there is no cheer- fulness like the resolutions of a brave mind. â€" Seneca. he has written a number of booksâ€" i sentenced by the Parliament of Tou- for he so obviously enjoys the com-' pany of authors, and artists, judging from the stories about them in liis reminiscences "Memories of a Mis- spent Youth"â€" though why "-Mis- spent,"! can't imagine. louse to be broken on the wheel forj the murder of his son. That was in the "good old days," of course! City Woods "Qp to the w.oods, little Son? There are no woods out here." He leads me to a spot Grant Richardsâ€" named after his i.ncle. Grant Allen, the novelistâ€" re- calls Frank Harris, alway. a mighty, talker, telling the ''magnificent 1 ^,j^^^^^,^^_.p ^^^ ^.,g^. stories he afterwards published to a j ^ j„^i ^^e skv they stand- group of literary friends, including !^ ^^^^_^ ^^^^^ ^j. ^^ Crant Allen and Frederic Harrison, l.g^^, ^^^^^.^ ^j,^^, j^g^j.,,. •A ho regularly wintered on the French | Riviera. When it was suggested ^l ^ ^^^.^ ^^^^^ ot v!OoAa him that he ought to write theni, he j j^ ^^^ ^.^^^^ ^^ ^ ^-^^.^ y^ar; declared that to wite and publish , ^ ^^^^,^ ^^^^^^ ^^^^ ^j ^^^^^ short stories less good than the best was repugnant to him. "But vour stories are in the very front rank, Harris," they assured him. "Yesâ€" you think so. But are they equal to Maupassant's best?" Xex-t year Harris returned with s.-me of the stories set up .in type .says Richards). He had had them pulled in "galley" so that he might, with the least possible trouble, sub- ject them to correction and correc- tion. All his friends had to read the proofs and listen to arguments about the advisability of altering this ad- jective, of omitting that comma. Meticulous? Yes. indeed. His case resembled that of Walter ": ter or. FOR CONSTIPATION ( effeclife in smaller ehsa \ SAFE SCIENTIFIC ' Wins Pop-Corn Contract Bver notice that the fellow who sits m the back seat at church usually lands in a front seat at the show? Loose Change U is atHUit as hard to drag an old fellow out at night as it is to keep a young fellow in. Remember the robin. WEAK WOMEN Take Lydia E. Pinkham^s >ege tabic Compound Have you cw 'elt .that !you were too IMak to do anyttalnit . . . that you did â- ot Inve the •tr»ntth to do your work? Women who ar« weak and run-donn •hoald take a tonic auch aa Lydia K> riokbatn'a Vegetable Compound. Head- •cbta and hackachca that are the rtuilt al • tired, run-down conUltton 0<tto yitid to this marvelous mcdldne. W out of every IM women who report to n* say that they are benefited by thi* medlctBe. Boy a bottle from your drnii- gM today • . . and watch (be results. There will be accommodation for fifty women in the Zenan.i â€" but the maharajah has only one wife. The zenana will bo used for her relatives and guests. As the women .i this State arc kept in strict purdah â€" no man may see them - all tl e rooms in the palace will « acce.ssible from the zenana by concealed galleries, so that the wo- men may look on without being seen. Everything in the palace will be in accordance with the latest scientific P'.inciples â€" telephones, electric light,. I -odern bathrooms, with hot water. i> British Revise Checker Game I New Interest is being added to iln' game of checkers in England by usitit; 'men" with different numbered valuo;-. the winning of the game being deciilvni ; by the total value of the men remain ' ing on the bu,ii'd. > * j We are loo fond of our own will; wc i want to be doing what we fniiry ' niiKhly lhiiie;s: but the great i>oint i.^ :i> do small things, when calleil to â- :em, in • right ^iprit â€" Cecil. ' ,uv:i...- jHipphig !:ir f. K. Ir ;i-la-i of tiUiniiiiiui, who l;u, ..^., .. ...,ii.d the contract to furnish 5O0.IW0 iK>uiidj of pop Mtn a; the Chicago world's fair. With branches hig'n that soar To catch the breeze and rustle it Amid the leaves they wore. Closer mouth by month The city creeps. Dwellings, stores, the railways want more land. Hard by a lumber yard reaps Frequent harvest. Flaunting triumphantly its lumber Stacked in neat white heaps. To him il was a forest vast. To me? But yes. As I look upward through the trees The city sounds draw back. I see Again the deep, cool woods back home. With wild flowers blooming Underneath each tree. â€" Lois King Backus. .ji Queen Mary Favors Green and Gold For Color Scheme When the Queen re-decorated her favorite sitting-room at Buckingham Palace, she chose a charmin color scheme in green, white and gold, the green leing in i particularly restful shade, with the while and gold intro- .uced in the ceiling decoration. It is not easy to flan the decoration of the private rooms in a Palace ' I ere the pleasant home-like atmos- ;,here is desired without, however, producing an effect that is out of ! keeping with the backgroun.t of an ; official royal residence, but her Maj i tsty po.sscsscs a Tialural flair for choosing go\vn.<! iha' «uit the occasion, i ai.d decorations that harmonize wiih ) their i<etting. I Greer rooms aie already having I vogue and their .loptilarity is like'.' ' to increase in London with th j Queen's example. j Ponsibly. indeed, ihj Quoe i may h regarded n.o the Ic.ider of the rcvivi . Rrecn-room fa.^hion. She carried out Pi rtitularly successful .schtme .Samlringhani, hir niuch-b.i!oved cou-; try hon;e, some time ago, â- v here lie. f:ivat« siiriiict-rcni there was re«lec- Tokio Population 5 Millions Tokio is the largest city In Japan, with a population of approximately 5,000,000. OFF COLOUR? HOW IS YOUR LIVER? Wake up your Liver Bile â€" Without Calomel Your liver's a very email orjcan. but it c*"> tainiy caa put your ditp'Stive Aud elimiuativ* OTfaoa out of kilter, by rrfueiiig to pour out its daily two pounds of liquid bile into your bowels You wou't completely correct 8ut;h a conditioa by taking salts. oU, mineral water, laxativftcanrV or chewing gum, or rtiiiRbnge. When tliey /• moved your bowols they're through â€" and you Becd aUVcrstiinuIanc. Carter's Little Ijvrr PIIIb will soon bring hack th« sunelim* into your liJc. They're purely vrge« table Safe. Eur'>. .\6k for tiiem by name. Refua« mbstitutee. 25c at all druggist*. 48 MONEY FOR Y^n ' AT HOME _ YOU can com sp<xl â„¢oii*r <tt •P*'* *>, makjns display ctnia. No >»ning or l ovaasiDsT^X'tt (oj^rud you, (uroMb com- f pUta oumt and 6uppi'y you with work, f writ* to>-<]ay for free booklet. Th« MENHtNirr COMPANY. T trailed | 54** Oominica U.'dg., Torootu, One. jLajji â- â-  â- â-  aJJC Whu Suffer ii'ilh â€" = Skin Troubles when CiitUuira Qoirklv llcals . S.'ap ""<-. Ointment -"c. ani .'â- &. A^SKUTS 6 SORES •JT" Appiv Minar â- 1 w«»h«s out IT «-lc«nit«s. Ani â-  f quickly «fter w ^Q Ther«'i noil Nlinard'* freely. Tt p o i » o n and wound hedU ' its u«c. ; nolhinq bttHerl IS.SUE No. liâ€" -33

Powered by / Alimenté par VITA Toolkit
Privacy Policy