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fi I. \ .\ rf i- '-â- i 'r .•,'» SUnPRISED THEM. Of all places, Ifie most difflcuU in which to preserve one's gravity, wh€n «â-  absurd Incident happe/i8, Is church. The worshippers in « ceriain chapel had some trouble to keep Ibeir (aces straight a short tim« ago. During the servic* some oomnioUen wns caused by a gentleman who aoci- dentally ignited a box o( wax matches In his pockcl, aiid was trying to put them out, while bis alarmed neighbors Blruggled equally hard lo help him. The minister, being short-sighted, could not make out the reason of the disturbance, and thinking lo diplomati- cally cover the incident he innocently eaid:â€" "Brethren, there Is a little noise go- ing on. Until it Is over, let us sing, 'Sometimes a Light Surprises.'" Some of the congregation were unable to sing. It takes a woman graciously to per- mit a man to apologize for some injury She has done him. A CHANCE 18 NEECED. Thronsh the long winter one needs a change. Why go Sooth when "The Wel- )and," Bt. Catharines, oifera an environ- mont at moderate cost which will miniater to tired nenres and worn oot bodies? Try the tonic inflnence nl ''The St. Catharines Well" and the restful inflnence of "The Wetland. " Apply the managt^r. St. Cath- arines, or any Agent of Grand Trunk Kail- way System. M1S.SED. Bessâ€" There's one pleasure denied the rich. Tessâ€" Whats that? Bessâ€" They can't go bargain hun^g. Mild In Their Action.â€" Parme'ec s Vegetable Pills are very ralld in their action. They do not cause griping in the stomach or cause dis:turbances tliere as so many pills do. Therefore, the most delicate can take them with- out fear of unpleasant results. They can, loo, be administered to children without imposing the penalties which fclk)w the use of pills not so carefully prepared. BADLY T.\.NNED. "Ever been in Siberia?" asked the le- porter. "Erâ€" yes,'' answered the distinguished Russian refugee. "I took a knouling there last summer." ITCn. Mange Prairie Scratches and every form of contagious Itch on human cr animals cured in 30 minutes by vVcl- ford's Sanitary Lotion. It never fails. Sold by all druggists. UNUTTEUED THOUGHTS. Windigâ€" -Say, I understand you told Knox that I was a liar. Biffkins â€" You have been misinformed, eld man. That Is one of my Ihouights 1 have never put into words. Like little velcanoes of dlsaai*. ITie erapoom of •ciama poor out ilischantM. B»d blood caosea th« trouble. The local rein«<ly la WoiTer-s Cenw, auit W'oa»er'e Syrup will drire the poison from tho blood VEBY LITTLE FEELING. Tom (at the musical€>â€" "Don't you think Miss Screecher sings with con- siderable feeling?'- Jackâ€" "Not so I can notice it. Tf she had any feeling for the rest of us she wouldn't sing at all." Do not delay in gelling relief for the little folks. Mother Graves' Worm E.\- lerminator is a pleasant and sure cure. li you love your child why do you let Jt sutler when a remedy is so near at hand? The cotton handkerchiefs provided for French foldiers have printed upon them a number of sanitary precepts lo be observed on the march and during u canipai.gn, nnd arc further decorated with medallions containing pictures ol olficers of all grades, the dilterent uni- forms being so distinctly portrayed that a French private can tell at once U) what grade any olTicer he may sec belongs. , A railway through the mountains north of the Adriatic Sea, constructed by the .Austrian Government to build vp the trade of Trieste, though only ' 130 miles long, ha-s 679 bridges and via- ducts. 11 also runs through forty-nine tunnels. The more money a man has the less be is willing to admit he has. kidney; /PILLS 4 1, \N\v-cs>-„,: Tied EE id «• yvnr l*ddr«a ^^^^^^^^ lor II place* •» ^^^^^^^ Si oo »5iewii"«'>" y" """ "'o »?"•> 5*"^ illt» BfllOtT W. ttlHt Toa .Itb tl.« J.wclr. miA -lli m4 It •11 ali««M paid. /vi*» auid a| TOV COUGHS A.ND COLDS, HOAB.SENESS and Bronchial affections due to Irrita- tion of the mucous surface, are quick- ly relieved by TIEGIH OIL OF PIE This preparation possesses all the medicinal properties of pine, being a compound of the active principles of forest trees. Every precaution is taken, in il£ composition, to insure purity and freshness. Its action on the kidneys ij highly beneficial, and usually relieves a case of ordinary lame back in a day or two. Be sure to get the genuine Virgin Oil ct Pine compound pure, prepared only by Leach Chemical Co., Cincinnati, 0., and put up for dispensing through drug- gists only in ^â- i.<yL. vials, each vial se- curely sealed in a round wooden case. Properties, uses and directions with every vial. DONX The Dentistâ€" "Now, Johnny, brace up, it'i; be all over in a minute." Boyâ€" "Yes, butâ€" gee, think of that minute." A bottle of Bickle's Antl-C«nsuraptlve Syrup, taken according to direcUons, will subdue a cough in a short time. This assertion can be verified by hun- dreds who have tried it and are pleased to bear lesUmopy lo its merits, so that all may know what a splendid medi- cine it is. 11 costs you only 25 cents 111 join the ranks of the many who have been benefited by its Mse. There may be hyiKicrites in the churchâ€" but think of lh« vast number outside of it. nAI MT*. ۥ.. rMVIDlMCB. â- .!,»«.•.*. ISSUE NO. 8â€" M. PILES CUBED IN « TO 14 DAYS. iPAZO Ol.VT.VIENr U gninnleel t-> cure any case of Itchiaz, Blind. Bleeding or Procodiag iplleeint tolimys or ntJaey lefanded. 60o. The trouble with most true stories 's that it is necessary to tJd a few lies in order to make them interesting. Yea need not shed any toars If too wHl Blast â- 'The DAL" Menthol Pla»t»r on tha» l»aie beck Tf and be caaTuioe<l It's the easiest thing in the world to net become a bloated bondholder. They are a Powerful Nervineâ€" Dys- pepsia causes derangement of the nerv- ous system, and nervous debility <^nce engendered is dllllcult lo deal with. There are many testimonials as lo the efficacy of Parraelee's Vegetable Pills in treating this disorder, showing that Ihcy never fail to produce good results. By giving proper lone lo the digestive organs, they restore equili- brium to the ncrvo centres. Mrs. Buxomâ€" "That hateful Mrs. lvno.\ made a very mean comment up- on my age to-day." Mr. Bu.xomâ€" "Did she say you were getting old?' Mrs. Buxomâ€" "No, Indeed I She said I 'still looked quite young.' " A natter of Importance to an those who an ran down and debilitated U the fact thai â- â-  FerroTim " W the best tonin: eter oompounded U gi*es strength and boilds ap the aystem. AT CROSS PURPOSES. "Poor Mrs. Mixem has good infen- tjous, but she certainly does make some bad breults when she undertakes lo give good advice." "\\ hat has she been saying now?' "She told ons young lellov,' in her class who is as cross-eyed as he con be, lo look slraight ahead in life, and another, who has lost both his legs, lo bf careful and always put his best foot forward." Shilohs Cure Cures Coughs and Golds OUICRLY Use Shiloh's Cure for the worst cold,, 'the sharpest cough â€" try it on a guai- antee of your money back if it doesn't actually CURE qiiiclttr than anything you ever tried. Safe to take, â€" nothing in it to hurt even a baby. 34 years o( success commend Shiloh's Cureâ€" 26c., eoc. SI. m .â- \ rural melodrama should at least have a grass plot. The exclusiveness of some families Ls a fortunate thmg for tho neighbors. The average man would rather pay half a dozen grudges than one debt. Occasionally a man is compelled to stretch the truth in order to make both ends meet. Immaculate Housewifeâ€" "My good man, did you over lake a bath?" Un- washed Trampâ€" "No, mum; I've never look anything biggern a silver spoon." There isn't much hope for Ihe man who is unable to (xmvince himsell that bo isn't just a little better than his neighLor. Groat Medicineâ€" TonU, one of the pioneers of French Canada, lost a hand and wore an iron hook as a substitute. He was in the habit of boxing the ears o! refractory Indians with thus iron hon.1. and ihcy have remarked that il was "great medicine." Dr. Tlwrnas' Eclcctric Oil is great niedicine; it takes hold of pain with an in>n hand and knocks it out of the system. now CAPTAIN COOK DIED. Ancient Manuscript Recently Presented to British Museum. Two hundred years ago a seaman, John Law, who accompanied Captain Cook on his ill-fated voyage to the Sandwich Islands, kept a diary of the incidents of the exiJedition. LllUe dkl he think that his quaintly- written notes would one day have a place in the British Museum. Recently, however, Mr. C. G. Lawrence Lawâ€" one of his descendantsâ€" presented the diary lo the museum, and it has now been carefully bound and placed in the manuscript room. Much of it is almost illegible, but it contains a spirited and graphic account of the death of Cap- lain Cook. Tho origin of the trouble was the theft of a pair of tongs and a ch'isel. The thief went off in a canoe, which was pursued and fired at. Captain Cook then determined lo se- cure the King as a hostage. The ageJ VIcnarch at first agreed to go on board the Resolution â€" Captain Cook's vessel â€" but his people persuaded him lo ""e- tum to his house. One of the natives grew insolent, and Captain Cook shot him dead. Upon this "the enraged Indians' prepared to avenge the death of their comrade. Against the csounsel of those wilR him, Captain Cook went on to the b'^aeh, when a native, stepping behind him, knocked him down with a club. He im- mediately rose and went alone into the crowd. When he rushed back he was stabbed and thrown into the water. Then he was dragged to the tieach again and beaten and stabbed to death. The diarist tells gruesome stories of the vengeance that was exacted by the survivors of the expedition, and makes it clear that Captain Cook's death was in a large measure due to bis own rash- ness and laok of lad. JUST WHAT THEY WANTED. "Well, brothers," said the sombrc- visaged man, rising in their midst, "this is my first attendance, but I am a Socialist almost by nature, and I think I can understand, from the prevkjus speakers, what you want. In the first place, you want a realm where every- one has lo be good by law." "We do! we do!" cried half-a-dozen long-haired young men in turn-down collars. The speaker continued: "Where food and clothing give no trouble, and money does not exist." "That's ill Thai's what we want." "Where everyone goes lo worship en Sunday, and regular hours are kept, week in, week out." -Yes, that's ill" "Well, 1 myself have just come from such a place "' -Where? What's it called?" "It's a place called prison," he said, and resumed his seat. Ever notice how many friends you have when you don't need them? There arc a number of varieties of corns. Holloway's Corn Cui-e will re- move any of them. Call on your diug- gist and get a bottle at once. An orchid that lakes a drink when- ever it feels thirsty by letting down a lube Into the water is a botanical ciu-ki- sity which grows in South Africa. The lube, when not in use, is ooUed up on lop of the plant. TO CURE A COLD IN ONS DAY Take LAXATIVR BROMO Quinine Tablets. Dra<(Kl3ti reluiiJ money il it (ails to cure. U. W. aSOVS'Ssiinatare la oneuhbox. SM. PE-RU NA CHEERFULLY RECOMMENDED FOR GOLDS AND CATARRH A Prominent Canadian Gives His Expe- rience With tlie World-Famous Remedy for Catarrh. THE first effect cf a cold is a thick- ening of the mucous membranes of the nose and throat. This gives rise to a discharge, or at least a stufllncss of the nasal passages. Simetimes fever accompanci the flrst attack, also a feeling of languor, dul' ness and aching of the bones. If no attention is paid to It, the muc- ous congestion is liable to spread down ir.lo the larynx, producing hoarseness and into the bitnchial lubes, producing a cough. Even when this occurs, many people pay no at'enLvon lo it. Under such circumstances, the con- gestion is liable to become chronic, pro- ducing a condition of the mucous mem- bra.^es k.i'wn as catarrh. Catarrh lasts an indefinite time. Catarrh is essenliaUy a chronic condi- tion and does C. H. Parker, Ex-Warden of 0:>mplon Co., Quebec, has been mayor of Scots- town for a number of years. He is an influenUal resident in Scctslov^'n and widely known. He writes concerning Peruna, Read his letter below: CUite C0LD3- PBEVEMT OATACRH. NOT NEEDED. Croxâ€" "They say that onions are especially good for brain \\x)rkers." Knoxâ€" "That explains it." Cro.x- "Explains what?" Knox- "Why they are barred from polite society." JU.ST LIKE LIFE. A lady named Susie M:Fadden Was praised for the figure she hand â€"an' Thoro was no one could tell Thil licr figure so swell Was made very largely of paddin'. A w'oman's curiosity is e:cceeded only ly that of a man who says he hasn't any. Black A new sensation. Watch pleasure. n,. i_ The big ^""^"^ plug. 2270 PntRaofmoH. Ont. Canada. CARPET DYEINQ ^^ ea^OIMBlee. ThI* b % i*MtaUf wtih tk« ^^ BRrnSH AMERiOAN DYKING OOt â- â- rf â- entMleie tf peM Ui4 we Me nre te afM* not leave except something is done to relieve it. What should be done when a person catches cold is to take a few doses o' Peruna. Tak«n at the onset, Peruna would break up the cold and prevent all the train of symptoms which usually follow. But, even in cases where the cold has been neglected and boorsenoss or a cough has develop'ed, Penina can be relied upon to give prompt and per- manent relief. The frequency of coughs and colds in th.e winter makes Penjna a popular rem- edy for these ailments. A number of the best people of various countries have gfven lestlmoniaLs as to the value of Peruna in such cases. Followed Dr. nartman's Advice â€" Re- stored to tieallh. Mrs. Samuelle Vigneau, .\vre au Perd, Isle de La Magdalme, Canada, writos: "1 write to tell you that 1 am perfjctly welL I tool{ only throe bottles of your Peruna according Vi your advice and the directions in your book and il re- stored mv health." Mr. Matthew Hare, 143 William St., Fall River, M.iss.. writes: "About four years ago I consulted a physieion to get relief from a co!d which stopped up my head and soltlod en my lung*. He gave me medicine, but four weeks' uso of il did me no good. "I decided lo try Peruna and after Inking two bottles my lung? began to heal. In six months the cough, catarrh and threat dllTicullios were ail cured.'' C. tl. PARKER. "I had several allurks of colds (roni time \.o time and finally a se- vere altack devclo|)ed into catarrh. "1 Has advised to use your cele- brated catarrh remedy, and allcr taking three bottios I find myself completely cured, and I no longer suffer from catarrh or cohls. "I can cheerfully recommend Peruna lor colds and catarrh." If Peruna had no other medicinal value than the promptness with which it relieves common colds, it would be well worth while for any family to keep i! in the h>;u'se ccn.-t:uitlv. We Will Send You a Genuine Oriental Rug for Two Dollars Kver; home in CanaJa ahonlil h.%'e one ormore eenaioe Oriental Rnirs. Thoy are be.\iit!ful in the aoftnesi ind h.vnn^nv of thalr (adelesa colors, anil in poiut of eoouutuy are clieaper than any nt the U.wpriced djuiejlic pruduati. These Clrit>i.t.il Uus< are imiJ.Tted bv u^ direct (roiu tho (jro^t rua-pr^'iuoing conter? of 'fnrkoT, Asia Mint^r aud Poteia. Tho iii»i a«odtopre»iil that Orleat.il Rogj we.e costly, and tb.^t ordinary people oould n.it KBorl them. TU»t la only true if the largi fUed rvqi. Wljilo iveai-e the largest Importers of large rtigs And oriijnt^r goods ia this country, we do an aaorra^^us businees In the ^ni-kll â- iisd rugs, which we Cin sell at henitofore unheard of prices. Kspecially in tho .Vnitullitne Biiny rare bite of antique calorlag are found, though on account of their siie we can sell theia for a3 little as t^ each. Here Is Gur Special Gash Offer We make a special bargain of two of our popular sman-aized rugs. They are Knitable for door mats, bath rooon. te lay in front of Hreplaoea. or pianos, thoy nre nice in bedrooms or tor fo<,t rugs. One kind is S to 3 feet loni; abJ,! to I^ feet wide icalled Anat:<llan run^ made by the natlTes of AoatsKa, In Asia Mijjr; voiy p/stty on :iccoutit of tbo soft tones iui<t harmony of tbe colors ; many of them are antiques. We will send them, charges ffiO prepaid, on receipt of the special price, each ^0-m Anotbei kind, the Haraadan rug. is S to 4 feet long and 2^ to 8 feet wide made in Persia, while largerthan the Anat.>lians, tboy are nseful In the same way and (or the same purpo.ies. They are In attraotiTe p.itterns and colors ; beaTily tufted. Sent ua tfSR receipt o{ price, iesch %I*w We have the largest stock of aenoluo Oriental Rugs, .Art Ojodi and Bra^sware in Can.vli' Wlieneteryou want quitition? on anythinfi in our lino wei will he glad t > answer your inqnirv. Wo send rugs of any site and talue on approral to responaible parties order ing from a dliitance. COURIAN, 3ABAYAN & CO., 40 King St. Eas% Toronto. FURS ^-jstjif M[ NTS sowcin* â- â€ž. I JOHfr~HAttAM .\n undertaker is probably so call- e<i because he eventually overtakes the rest of mankind. There Is no sacb thinf aa a harmless eougli. ho tnmble yoee from bad to worse unless ohe^* ed. Allen's Laiu; Balsam cures the worst colds. It allays inflammatioa and olsars the all passagea A FAR-FETCHED AnCUMENT. 'The earth," remarked the professor, "pursues its mighty palhw.ay through space without interruption and on what you might call schedule time." "Which," remarked Mr. Uustin Slax, with confident emphasis, "goes to show what a good thing a perpetual franchise te." "Ill A SCllE.ME. "I truess." said Mrs. Subbubs, have to giv<? a big dinner." "What for?" a^kod her husband. "It's tlie only excuse 1 can think of Iv' torrow back those line plates I loaned lo Mrs. Naybor." WHAT CAl SES HEADArni!. From Ocfejbsr t-i M ly. Colds are tho m^'^t fre- qasotcauaeof lloaLiche. LAXATIVE BRUMO QCUIIMB reooreeciuse. K. W. aruve on box 'A.a Husband â€" "You don't appear lo like Mrs. Sweelio." \Vif(»â€" 'The horrid IlilngI I hale herl Next time wo meet I'll kisg h>T only once, and 1 shan't isU alter her baby."