Ontario Community Newspapers

Flesherton Advance, 30 May 1895, p. 6

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THE NEWS IN A PTSHELL THE VERY LATEST FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD. laleml I nglirMi *'>! OarOtral treat Brllilu. ih.- I llr.l l Hie., nud All ran* / n.e 4.1 .ihr, r*adeaaral aad 'AS ADA. Winnipeg ii tlruggling wilh the Sunday ear qua* lion. Sir l> n*:.l Smitli will leave for England al the end ol June. Sir Uil>brtTupi.*r haa good loLakewood, N. J., lo recuueialu from iii**ii*ct* of hit attael of bronchi' i*. Th* young m*u name. I Drew, who wu gored by a bull near saltootu Mmlays ago, I* dead from bin nij aii<-<. The Sir John Uacdonald memorial will be unveiled in Monlrealon June 6, the anm veratry of the old chie'tain'i death. S\ ni'iipcj; (lectors have adopted a by-law >utl 01 1/, n^ the iniuaiice of debentures for ihe erect 'ou f new city school). There ie not muoh wheat in Mnnit.-li* and t Montreal, waiarreated In New Yorkoharg. cd with having emugfled large quauuiire of phenaoetine au<l other druyi into the LJoitexi Nmee Irom K'liope ihruuah Can- ada, Notice WAI iHue.l in New Vork that a Boycott bad been declared againtt the .'aua.iian Pacifio by the trunk linea. It waa tii(.u((lii that the old fight between the Canadian Pacific and the Orand Trunk wae over, but tliii re-open* all the old JiiVeren- a. The hetriok cannery in Porllauil, <>re., hae nlready brgun to paolc horwneah. Samplea of the caune-l hortcQeah h>e been liatributed in thn lur^ecitin of the United SUitea, and if tiie demand warrant! it, one hundred horrea a day will be elaughtered auit c.tnned. >: revenue cutter Commodore Perry haa left Sau Frauoiico ina'iurry to prevent the patrol fleet, which ii now headed for the ee&liuf; kjnnindf, iioiii leizmg any armed Cana.lian noaleri foun.l inii'le the prohibit- e>i water*, M the Britiih (i ivernment haa practi=a!!y Jeuulo-l 'hat interfer^nre ith rn . ,i MaUoc veraeU Hying the Union Jack will he ufficicut ([round tor claim* tor :ilAU the t'ai.ad *u - pur report. All that u nore.l in iireriin in nt will he utej fur home milling J- .. Dr. H.i.liM. Cooper, age I H8, a well- known pl.yteun ui New U .i H. C., waa [gun 1 dea-1 in hit office. Heart ui-e..-.. wa-i n.e o: l)r. Cooper w for many )nara an Anglican oierr ID the Dioceatof Toroi An influential depjtat ion from Montreal . fil uii the (j.vt-i i.ii,. uv in -upfxirt ol the request for * gra o the Intern .t: on il Exhibition, pr< ijoeed to he held at M<.u'rc*l i.cvt yer. Mr. Koiler held out em til hope of iliegr.m l.< m,; irnde. Mr. Carpouter, M I', f.ir U'cuthworih, mu-nda at a future in. .tin,; of the Aui u ui tnrtl ami Colonisation Committee to racoinniru.l inal fie I' ike hold of In.' fruit induitiy rui t,:>. u a i.elpiug hand, aa it hti leu iln.ui< lu the cau ot the t.utter trade. The trout, Ie between the Toronto Kuil I- iri' Kz'-hang*, ami the boil. ling trade* with reference to a new wage IIM come to a (landitill, aa the nge hu refiued to consider any further o !er* until their next meeting on June in. On Wednrtday night, while Mr. Anthony Atwell. a procperou* farmer, waa .irivinj wi'h li: wife and two children (rum Sharbot lake to Olden, the hortra ran away while govng down a hill. The occupant! of the r'.n were thrown out. Mr. Atwell lu I hit n "k broken tnii a* killed inetanlly, nil hia wife and one child were evrionaly lujurei*. An extra of The Canada Gazette hu l.'en luued oidrring a) out 40 rural bal tuli'in* out forllieir aunuii t-velvu day drill be^iiiiiiu^ in Ontario Jus* IS, ami in The Boat Way to Set a Hen. The accompanying illu*lr.it ion (bowl the belt wy to *et a HID that hu yet been discovered, 10 far at lea*t a* the writer n concerned. The nett in made In a roomy box, with a coTer. NaileJ to one tide of the box ii a little ilat yard slats on top I-iruoVRD BUT! MIST. al*o in wt ... . w*ier airl food are kept con- tanlly. The hen can go out into Ihe yard at any time, eat and drink, *n i n** co Thn cholera ou' bre.k at Mecca i* becom- , temp'aliouto^wandM away and I ing worre. On an areiti'-i 'ii death* Ir-im the .iin.iivsf occur iaiiy. iJovf : -i.tni is xprniiing monry in the most l*vi*'i and cxiravi(*Dt. fa-hion. Mor Solimhercjo. for i .'rly a inenit>rof 'Ii- It-i.-nii ChainiK-rot Deputies, ha* been appointed to the uw poll of Italian Consul- tl at Monti .1. A French t i[. north- gel coi.i. Where several Ii i:> -i t.r. vancu like itu* for each sivts i uti.ur . f looking afl*r taesj*, to teethat two do not i!t on < n neat, ulc. You put t-xidand water in the dishes the hen "doe* Keeping up the Dairy. It is u>ually uccesieiy each year to diapooi of a numi.er of cow, thoie that are gelling loo old or frail for some olher cau.e to r piotiiable to retain. Theae IIB lle d'A:x. I ore *e:. ,r wiled, and the other five were pi-.-ki d up by a piumg vesiei. I,.,. i ,.,., ,,,), anl muil be replaced by railing heifer* on ibe Mariuna collided on Hi* Ki near firm or pvmv using cow*. in comparatively few miianccs perhaps the latter inlho 1 might be pri ferable, pro- vided the right kind of cows could be obtained at reasonable prices, but the ma- jority of ferine r* must or snould depend on rsiiin^ their own dury (tuck. This should Iw d'.ne more cheaply lhan ihe cows cau he purchiaed, especially at th* present time, and there are olher alvanlag** that Brent. Tne MaiiTma aank, an. i eleven of her crew are miaaing. A telegram from Dir laye the native tribuiiiieu have made a nii(hl attack upon the lln'.ii'i forct at Kt7iah-l. Seven oooliee are reported killed and, twenty wouo.lc.i. The comiuioiuu wi.icii haa been invenii- Katin j the atrocitie* in Armenia have ar rivt-.i a' Jellygoozm. Tuny have found ahocld be taken into consul, ration. Tbeae i . i i j i , i *nouiii oe laaen into ceaBiueri.iuu. i uvan almnUntevidtno* ,.f cr,,lty.r,,l wl,oU*ale n ; , h , . nukDBer I:. ... i : . in UI dlMAtlAita rrtAv h>v.. . n . .' massacre* in all urge.] upon the Armenian refoimi They have Porte the neoenity fur STARVED TO DEATH. : and the Maritime 1'iovince* Juna '25. Tlie London camp will consist of the lit Hus-Hrn.'JIit, .'-Jii.l.'JT'li.W'ri and " batta*io*t*a*)d the Niagaraoampof the 9 Hi..;..,. - and l-'th, .HUli, 37th and 77ti llaltalioua. l.HKAT HIIITAIX. Joa*pli Whitaker, founder of Whiiakir'* Almanac, 11 dead. Jabex S. Kalfour, the Liberator wreck*r, hu been cominuted for trial 'I ne <juelion of the right of Peers to sit in the liriliih House of Commons ha* been raued. Unusually cold weather prevail* through out Knu'Uu'l, with enow ilor.i on ihe. rait '-oaal . Mr. J. W. DIIWII. th* Canadian <Jov*rn- Bienl a^ent at llristol, reporl* that ihere II a good opening for th* tale of Canadian older. The show of the Royal Lancashire Ag- ricultural Society, to b* h*ld al Preilou, from the 25lh to 'J7lh of July, incluuve, will be open lo Canadian farmer* detirmg to compete. I' i* rumoured in London, that Col. John- ion, of the Hoyal Artillery, who la a Cana- dian, ha* been oilmed the command of th* Canadian mililia, in surcesilon lo Mtjor General Herl-ert. Mr. Cieori(e Leary , Canidian immigration agent in Ireland, report* to th* Department of the Interior that it n highly deiirabl* ih'ii Canailian iteainahip linei should make (llasgow or Oalway a port of call. In the Hriluh Home ol Communi Sir William Hartourt announced that Lord Kotnbery intendr.l to lujfoduce in tl Home of Lori* forwilb a lull to eualile oer- tain colonial judgca lo sit on the Judinl Commit tee of the Privy Council. The Hi 'tiili (iovrriiun ut ami Ibe L'nHe.l Hlate* have come lo a i agrrrineni a* lo holding a conference on th* Uelinug He* seal quntion. The conference is to be hel I in Washington in Uctobei nezl, aud delegate* ar* to b* lent by Canada. A a. or ding to The Canadian <iaxetle Hon. Kdward I'Tak* don. not inlend lo r*> turn U> poliiiual life lu Ottawa. He i* willing to make another content for the eat for Sonlh. l-on^ronl, but ha will not devotu ao inuohiime as hitherto In attend- ing the sittings of Parliament. Win. "''linen, M. I'., ha* been eerved with a notice that he ha* been declared a bankrupt in ooncequenos of his tailor* to satisfy ihe judgment ohtsined against him by Patrick A. Chance, M. P., whe wa* Brlen's lollcitor in the latter'* action agalnat Lord Salisbury for libel. D KITED ITiTZK. lohn O'Brien, a well known Winnipeg printer, wa* found ilead near Fargo, North Dakota. The powiler factory at Dollar Hay, Mich., iplodod. Fred Slieppitrd, th* only man ia th* milling house, was killed. W. H. Smith, ao i-conduotor of the (Iran I Trunk, wa* arreited at Holley, Mluh.. charged with wracking th* trail at Haul*- C'reek in July last. S. nator Child* offered a resolution in the ff,-w York Senate empowering the Fish and (iarra Committa* to viiit Canada and elir h.-re,, md employ clerk, with a view in harnir.nl/ng th* lawi of the several ci'iintriet. '.'. Lyons, wholesale druggiit ol r llunilrrtf a<l l\l? In4l*n< anil I li'rl. I ,,..,.,> I-. rl-h' .1 ! I.I. radar. The wont 'if the aa.l itorira of deilitution and death reports.) fn.ni time to tine from Northern Canada ap|iear in the publication, by order of parliament, ol the detail* of tarvetion ami deMh among the Indian* and E<>iuimaiii of Labrador. Even the more thrifty b*hrmen and farmeii of the Labrador cotai have been thia winter in a and their adaptation to the farm, which could not come from frequent change* of ownerihip. The tir*t *tp ID thi* buiinxaa i to get the right kind of heifer calve* needed lor the dairy. They ihould >>e aelected a* far aa pomible w.th particular teference to the kind of work thai i* to be required of them, either ai nu!k producer* ur butler maker*. If they cannot be obtained from the herd then U will pay to look around among tooae having good dairie* for tuch a* ar* wanted. Nezt, providecomfortahle quarter* for theee little animil*, where tiny can be kept warm and dry. Particularly i* thia necetaary in winur an.l iprmg, when the weather i* hif ting and unfavorable, and a large portion of ihecilven raiaed ar* itart- ed al thi* lime of the year. It Udeairable to have heifer* oomnenoe c,. minion v.rgin M upon .tarvatian. and : giving milk at two years ef age. To do schooner load of provisions and of iced thi* th*y mu*t be wll cared for from the grain was *ent lo their a>ai*Uu<:e no later fi"'- Theymuit be kept in vigorou* health than last w.ek. In ,h. vi.imty of F.rt ^^*^J%!ti ^t Cinntp.o, a Hu .lion Bay Company * tracing ^j bone, rather than of lat. Within the poet on Ungava Hay, two-third* of the past quarier oi a century by aproper meth entire trilw of Mon'.agnan Indiana Hiding at the pott have perithed of atarvation in one rea*jn over 16(1 in number. A* uiual among the Indian*, th* mn died firit, *o that a number of unfortunate woman ind orphan* wen left helpleai. The few whit* people at r'..r' ( hmmo and the officer) and crew of the Hudson Bay I 'ompany'i (learner Kric, wiutering here, look up a collection to clotiie Ihe i.ii vivon, who were a* des- titutr of clothing a* ihey were of food. The Canadian liovernmenl ha* now taken action, which la hoped will pravenl th* od lit ne^lmenl, heifer* rtre a* gool al two year* old a* they ua*d to lie at three. Milk u the natiual food for the the young calf and uu* *hould he lupplied in lulficteot cjtianlities, neither loo lar^e nor too tmall. It i* parti ularly de*irable not to over- fee.! for the firat few weeka, otherwi*e baa reiulU will follow. After a little ikim milk may be gradually eubatit-ited (or that freih from the cow. In coll weather Uu* can be had *weet,and if the Swedub or cold deep letting *y*um ef cream railing u pneticed, it can be had aweet during the warmett aeaaon of the year, etp*cially if repetition of *uuh a caltdrophe, by placing practiced in a portable creamery. To make a aum of money al the dipoeal of the Hud- uu (or the fat of the milk removed in the aon Hay Company for th* relief of ihe In. cream it U wall to make a little gruel or d am and Kxmimau |>eople in the event porridge from miadlinga or oil meal and of another *ucb severe winter, for nearly ' add to the milk. A lahleapoonful of the thirty K.|umiau are repotted to have (er- meal for each oalf at a feed is sufficient at isheil, in addition to the wholesale Indian Dr it. fatA.uy. The cause of all tb* deitilution i A very important matter in tb* feeding thi* winter wa* the failure of ths barren o f skim milk is lo hav* it sufficiently warm- land cirihou, or reindeer, to frequent their ed. Here is au advantage claimed for farm accu*tomed haunt*. Hitherto at the ap- , separators, in that the milk can be fed al- K roach of winter they have baen killed in I moil before the) animal heat is gone. But irg* quanliliea with ipear* while crouing I we can see BO dilbcully where th* cream i* the Koktoak River, which flows into t'hii- obtained by cold deep settiag, a* it can be gava ISy, and upon the remit of thi* chase ' easily wrmed to any deaired temperature, both Indian* and Ksqutmanz hav* depend- I i, young farmer I* making a buiiDen of ed for food and clothing for th* winter raiting veal* on (kirn milk from cold deep month*. So scarce i* all kind* of game . *eltiug,alo*e,no grain feeding being added, becoming that t he early diaappeannce of To mini farmer* thi* would aeem impouibie, the remaining northern In liana is only quediou of time. We Are Proud of It That Itnlirh eiihjeoK ihould b* piond al the flag under which they live, and should loant of their oitiMOihip with the same aaaurance Ihat the anc eot Roman* were wont to ihow when uttering the formula oivi* Komanu* mm," is rightly pointed out by the New York Tribune as a matter that should not ocoaiion aurpriie. John Bull alway* *ho w* a pr*i*e worthy readme** in proceeding to the rescue of any of In* on*, the recent Chilral ezpeditioa Iteing one of a long series of Initanoe* of thn kind. The Tribune refer* to the following among others : "The Abyaiinia* war of 1867, the AahanUe war, which won for Lord Wolae- ley his first laurels a* a commander, the three w*r> with A Uli \nntan, and the two wars with China, beiide* innumerable minor conflict*, naval a* well a* military, have all beeu th* outcome of popular anziety lo rescue Britiih subjects held cap- tive, or to ezaot redre** for their wrongs. Kven l>*r in the Weitern hemiiph*re we have **n within the la*t few clay* an Rng. lish iquadron engaged in extorting a pecuni- ary indemnity from the Nioaragnan (iov- eminent for it* arbitrary ipuhuon of an Kuglllh citizen, while th* greateit reproach that hu ever been heaped upon Mr. CUdit'.ne throughout hi* long and well- spent lifs is that he failed to despatch Lord VVolieley'i Nile ezpedition of 1S84 in suffl- cienttime lo resue General 'Chine**' Gordon al Kh*rtoum-" It may be added that when the *t< ry of the relief of Chilral i* told ex ample* f ihe great*t heroiam will not be wanting." of it* molt paying branches. It U no di- rect coat, a* they will pay for ihemaelve* in one <ea*on, *o money invented i* return- ed by 100 per cent, the fir*l year, and you have itock for another year, and have a moet excellent artic'.e for the table. There i* alwaya a ready market for honey, so what can the farmer of to-day do better than, to keep a few swarms of bees? With Ike modern conveniences, inch as bee rails and (looker*, there ii no danger of being tune. What farmer* are looking for to-day i* ftomethuiK that will yield an income out*ide of their farm. Bee* would make qui'e an item in the income of the farmer and would be received from what is going to waite every y.'ar. Many an article oonld be nought with the honey from the bee*. Tho*e who have iried lay they do not know what they would (In n it were not foi the beer. .n be readily aold in any market al l:< to 18 cent* per pound. Do not. mart on a large acale, but let your aparygrow. Slarl with about tour or iz .! --rm. Yi'iimay lne loirie *kip* i.ut > ou muit expect Iota, llet *will diu a* well nrli .re* or i-atllr, but p.-rh^p* not to ot <*, and then there i* not *uch a largu lum . Many a farmer'* wife ii in the bee buaineta to atay. They find it a light mploymut, and many a little article has heru parchaat.l with the bee*' money. tie frame hive*, a* more honev can be got frunr them than any other. Uae one I...UL . -r.-if.ii*, a* they look neater and are in demand, a* those who buy the sweet nectar I: ke to have the cumb* so they can place them en ibe table and not cut them. - are Iiilian bees a* they are the beat workri* and are more hardy. They can be winure.l in cellari r l.uried in a dry place in it* ground and veniiUuou giten. ODD INSTRUMENTS. The reilal 4'larlnet-Tlir Vloloarell Flaa* an. I Ike Allo Piaao. Hardly a year goe* i>y that a new iDatrn- m:nt dot* not> make its appvaiance in th* Held of orchestra muiio, but niually, the noveliy wearing off, the instrument diiap pear* a* m.ld'nly aa it com**. Thi*, probitdy, will not be the fate of a new pe.'.al clarinet, which increase* the rang* of lhe*e instrument* to in octave*. Till Ai.ro PIANO. His particularly a liana instrument, aad will be of help in auulmg the oounter- ban. Its ion* is rich and mellow, and when pl.yed softly it is melodious^ It haa the mouthpiece of the ordinary clari- net, but end* in the lurued-up (uuudiog bul Ihere is no donbl in the mallsr. Us '.firat heat* the milk hot, than feeds three time* a day, giving four or five quarts at a lima. Th* calve* ar* not allowed to drink Ihe milk, but take it from a oalf feeder. In this way th* milk ha* to b* taken much more (luwly thaa whin drank, and h* attribute* **me of hi* success to I thi* melfaed ot feeding, a* he haa nsver had a case of scours. He feed* them four to five weeks old and then sells for four lo five dollars a head, having \ good market. If the farmer has milk it is wsll to feed until the calve* ar<> several months old . Some do this, ke*pmg them in in the barn during thi* time, considering U better than turning out to gra**. They will *oon learn to eat nay and then ihould be supplied with that which i* early out and of bait quality. Ad*r getting to be a few month* old they will eat grain of some kinds dry, a* mid- dling*, bran, ground oat*, eto. Thn* having the farmer's direct attention these young animals should be <(> con- stantly growing and 'hritiy and vigorous in health and this should b* kspt up right along summer and winter, with th* object alway* in view of making a first-class cow from the heifer, a work of which the owner may wsll be proud. But in thie work of improving the dairy the farmer should not neglect tb* getting of the best bull* possible lor th* use of his herd. Often Ih*** can be obtained quite as cheaply a* young calves, and can b* saf*ly shipped by tipress to most any pari of th* country. In ihis way th* cost nee. not be very great and then the farmer can grow up the animals as h* shall consider to be bsst in hi* particular cas*. Keep Bees. Bess in connection with farming i* on* Tni riDAi. n.AuisitT. nb* of the saxophone. A powerful sound nth* "forte" and a oharacterittio and wall-defined breadth of lone in th* middle and kigh register* make it a very useful additien lo an orchestra. A stand is needed a tuppnrt tb* instrument. The violonoell- tiano and alto-piaco ar* instruments intend' id I* displace the 'cello and the violin with ,ho*e that hav* not the lime or the patience to learn theae instruments,. A keyboard, hich I* fingered the same as a piano key- >oard, ii built so that it will fit the finger- x>ard of ihe string inslruments with mathe- matical correctness, ani Ihe inventor, De Vlaminck, has aucceeded in making hi* instrument* serviceable even ID quartet work. All the sounds and effects of the original instruments oaa be reproduced just a* artiitically, tzcepting the eliding sound*. An expert, who ha* executed sonata* by Beethoven and other difficult pieces, say* It ha* a great future. It Is excellent in its ton* quality, and it is Impossible to finger inaorrei-tlv. SPRING SMILES. Dewey Have (r**dlogl "Willie, wot'*, a decade?" Wandering Willie-" Hold on dere, pardl Yer gelling' personal." "In my buiinen, lady. It's impossible to get a day'a work." You don't say! What'* your business f "I'm a Bight-watchman." Hobsou " \Vhi do you siippon a dog's pints are made of?" Wigwag "Probably of a sort of very light bark." 01* batch" The girl* are not so pretty as they were twei.ty years ago," Mia* Perl*-" Well neither are. yon." "Why wa* the bee selected as a model ef indu.try?" a*ktd Tillinrm.t. "He. aus* bu*tne** with him is always hnmming," replied Gililertleeve. She' 1 n.cre'i no use of talking, it'* th* null thinij* that tnnoy one most,* H* "Yea. Kven a liitle mosquito bore* me. frigl.tfully." Bad-faced tramp "Madam, I am a home lea* m.D." I'.tient housewife- "Well, il you are home lets lhan my huiband U, I pity your poor wile." >Ifma.le il a man who thor- oughly believe* in himself ." Wa<zgi "Then hemnit b* next to an infidel for an infidel believes nothing." Un. N'orri* "In thi* book I hive writ- ten down moet of the little incidents of our married life.' Old Bonder "Ah I Sort o! family scrap-book, eh ?" Judge "And yon ar* accuse I of throw ing a mag of beer at the plaint 8." Plaintiff "Anybody who Know* me will tell you that that is inconceivable." Houcon ''Don't \ou think thtt Martin i?irl u f'iphtfuliy dull?" Jobson "Well, nardly. You should have setn the way sue cut- me on the avenue yestsrday." "fraily, if William lo-d*y_ a*k you to marry him youuiutt tell him toipeak to me." "Ye*, mamma; bat if he doe* not ?" "Then tell him I want to speak to him '." Mr. Fondics- "I want good tea. b that genuine Bohea t Honesl, uow ?" air. Peek (as he weigh* it out) "Ye*, lir; I will guarantee it . I believe that hooeit tea is the best policy." The itateman'i brav* who lingly dare* To fight a clique or ring. But braver far is he who wears The first straw hat of sprint. Mr*. |5llefieid-"Mr*. Oakland ha* ( great Mcret." Mr*. BloomHeld-"Oh, no I .She can't have." "Why no* T "If *he had (be would ha 1 e told" it to me." Unt "Mademmnll* look* more beauti- ful every day !" Lady "You have U*n telling me *o for a uood-enany years; what 'a horrid fright I must hav* beta to trt wuh." Justice "You are charged with stealing Col. Julep'* chickens; have you any witnesses ?" Unole Uoe* "1 heb not: I ion I steal cSicken* befo* witnems." Th* oyster *ea*on'* over ; But the lover ha* no rest ; For she II be able shortly To enjoy ice cream with te*k There's omsthing always spoil* oar fan, And makes lite', journey round ; The fiend already ha* begun To ask, "Is't lint enough ?" Nsw worn -u "Well, I married th* only man who never told me he loved KM !" Old woman "Why did you .to that?" New woman "rUcauae I thought b* ought to U converted." Agnea "I think Mr. Slowe I* horrid 1 He asked me tors kiss the other evening, and of courae I aaid no." liladyi "Whal lid hi do than ' Agaee "Thal'i juat iu He didn't do anything." StU'lent "Several of my friend* al* coming lo din* here, so I want a big table.' Mine Boat "Just look at thn one, sir. Fifteen pereom could deep quite coiuiort* ably under it." "Well," said the good-natured man, al ths friend of former days lefl the r om, "I'm $4 ahead on thai tranaactioD." "Why, he borrow**! 91." "Ye* but I thought be wa* going lo aak for tA." K.tlvel (looking al ihe etatucof Ihe Venn* of Milo) "U *e*m* to me, Maid, that th* w.irrtn of an-ient time* had larger waists thau ihey have now.'' Maud "Well, par- hap* ihe men had longer arms." "Oecrgy, dear," said the loving mother, "I'm very proud aothiag ha* been brought np againrt you Ihi* term of school " Ueorge " So'm 1 : Wuh't nnihin'd been brought down agin me I" Without her leave he stole a kiss. Be did. Oh, i.i in* 1 A iharp command wa* promptly his: "Juat put that back, I tall you thi*, Where il belong*," spoke haughty miss. U* did ! Ob, bhaa 1 "Can I write my name un.Ur the receiv- ed payment on tku hill?" aaked the collector who like* to put thing* a* dilicate>ly a* poMibl't. "No, thak you," replied Mr. Blokely, "I'm no autograph fiend." Mrs. Figg "Dear ma I You o*ver com* into the house without making an attack on ihat diah of doughnut*. '' Tommy "Yes nviw ; a home run doesn't count unless a (Her hit* th* plate, you know." Jimmy " You're 'fraid ter fight, that's what it la." Thomas " No, I aint; but if I fight my molher'll know, and lick me." Jimmy " How will ehr find it out, eh?" Thomas " She'll *ee the doctor going to your house." The salesman (holding up a vellum- bound brochure) "Th* price of the book i* $10.'' Mr*. Nurich "NoD**nse ! You can't im pot* upon me in that way. Why, a minnM ago you offered me a book of twice tb* issfor $!.>." He called her tootay wootiy, love And birdy, like all men ; But when h* cam* home lats at night He didn't call her theu. "I have a trained seal," laid th* Eng- liihman. "It can be hitched to a boat, and will drag my children tbout on my private lake ju*t as a pony will drag a cart." That'i very nice, ' said the Ameri- can. "I hav* on* too. MID* take* it* fur otT in winter and lend* it to my wife tor a sacque." felia "Mr. Flitter i* lack pleasant company t But then he say* such halelV thuiga I H* actually had tht audaoUy to* 1 te.l me lait evening that h* didn't think doesn't really keep them long. She keep* I you were ityliih." Delia " Von call them so thin that they look longer than I that hateful Yon abould hear a few el they actually are, '' | the thing* he says about foul" Mrs. Hammand "Mrs. Hashcmft h*s bragged again to-day about keeping her boarders so long." Mrs. ForaweeV "She

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