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www.oakvillebeaver.com · OAKVILLE BEAVER Thursday, February 25, 2010 · 6 The Oakville Beaver 467 Speers Rd., Oakville Ont. L6K 3S4 (905) 845-3824 Fax: 337-5571 Classified Advertising: 905-632-4440 Circulation: 845-9742 The Oakville Beaver is a member of the Ontario Press Council. The council is located at 80 Gould St., Suite 206, Toronto, Ont., M5B 2M7. Phone (416) 340-1981. Advertising is accepted on the condition that, in the event of a typographical error, that portion of advertising space occupied by the erroneous item, together with a reasonable allowance for signature, will not be charged for, but the balance of the advertisement will be paid for at the applicable rate. The publisher reserves the right to categorize advertisements or decline. Editorial and advertising content of the Oakville Beaver is protected by copyright. Unauthorized use is prohibited. Commentary Guest Columnist NEIL OLIVER Vice-President and Group Publisher, Metroland West DAVID HARVEY Regional General Manager JILL DAVIS Editor in Chief ROD JERRED Managing Editor DANIEL BAIRD Advertising Director RIZIERO VERTOLLI Photography Director SANDY PARE Business Manager MARK DILLS Director of Production MANUEL GARCIA Production Manager CHARLENE HALL Director of Distribution SARAH MCSWEENEY Circ. Manager The Oakville Beaver is a division of Trial balloons no way to govern Ted Chudleigh, Halton MPP he pressure is mounting. Dalton McGuinty is our very own bubble boy. He has launched trial balloon after trial balloon speculating on actions he could take to stem the tide of our current economic mess, but his feet are still firmly on the ground. He's been in hiding for the last few months hoping for some good news to affect the reality show of our economic problems. Floating all those balloons at least served the purpose of taking the drama out of any action the Ontario Liberal government does take when the provincial budget is announced next month. The Premier has already raised taxes through the implementation of the Harmonized Sales Tax (HST), he has publicly speculated on the introduction of Dalton Days which are unpaid time off for public servants; and, he has wondered aloud which public services Ontarians could do without. For two years now Ontario is a have-not province in Canada, meaning that now we take transfer payments from other provinces after having been the glue of Confederation, well, since Confederation. On top of that, the Province has spent almost $25 billion more this fiscal year than it has collected in taxes, which are already at historic highs. There is no end in sight, as the provincial government continues to plough ahead with more spending programs such as all-day kindergarten, without the money to pay for them. Sadly, that all-day kindergarten program cannot even be justified as an improvement in Early Years academics, as its apparent structure suggests a daycare program. The Legislature at Queen's Park opened again recently, but apparently will be shut down shortly so the Premier can prorogue the Legislative Session. So we are currently debating bills, which will be wiped away in the face of a new throne speech. In that speech the government will lay out in general terms what they will do to reverse our precarious financial situation. A few weeks later they tell us specifically through the Ontario Budget. So the Throne Speech is another bubble boy tactic. The government will hint at potential solutions, but won't commit to them because they might be unpopular. That might work on television reality shows, but is it any way to run a government? Ted Chudleigh WEBSITE oakvillebeaver.com Media Group Ltd. RECOGNIZED FOR EXCELLENCE BY: Ontario Community Newspapers Association Canadian Community Newspapers Association Suburban Newspapers of America THE OAKVILLE BEAVER IS PROUD OFFICIAL MEDIA SPONSOR FOR: T United Way of Oakville ATHENA Award NEW FANS: Twin boys Connor and Brayden, seven months, of Oakville are rooting for Canada as the 2010 Winter Olympic Games unfold in Vancouver, British Columbia. Countdown to the day when androids rule and humans drool while back I wrote that men are slowly being rendered obsolete by evolution and science, not to mention assorted fitness clubs scattered across the landscape. It was my contention, which I outlined with my trademark eloquence and understated wit, that once upon a time, men were needed for all of life's sizable and significant tasks -- from our role in reproduction to sanitation engineering (overseeing sorting, separating and curbside depositing of domestic refuse), to the timely twisting of particularly stubborn lids off jars. The essay elicited all sorts of feedback from all sorts of women, and all of it was rather needlessly cruel and taunting and almost man-like. The women said things like: Women rule, men drool! One woman, who identified herself as Gloria Something-or-Other, said something about, "a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle." Whatever the heck that means. Alas, since writing that missive, the societal roles of men have been further diminished. I know men don't like to surrender, but I truly think it's time we raised the white flag. Guys, we had a good run. But, our time is up. We're now destined to go the way of the dodo. And Guy Garcia is inclined to agree. According to Garcia, the author of The Decline of Men (a book A that way more women will likely read since women read way more than men): "Women have really become the dominant gender. Women are becoming better educated than men, earning more than men, and, generally speaking, not needing men at all." Ouch. But, you know, he's right. A quick Google search reveals that scientists are Andy Juniper now regularly impregnating women without the assistance of men. And, from my own personal experience, I can tell you that women are nowadays fully equipped to not just talk trash like men, but to also take out the trash like men (even if they are inclined to pinch their noses and say things like `yucky' and `gross'). Further, as modern women turn local fitness clubs into their second homes, they no longer need men to twist the stubborn lids off jars. Hell, my wife can twist the lid off a jar, and crush that jar into bits with her bare hands if she desired. And if that jar gave her any grief, she'd kick-box it back into the Stone Age. Which leaves me being of little use. I know what you're thinking: well, at least you are still needed to write this column each week. Ah, but across North America at assorted universities (populated, I hasten to add, mostly by women), advanced computer programs are being created that can write news stories allegedly as well as any reporter. How long before this damnable technology starts spitting out family life humour columns? Which brings me to why women should not get all cocky about being the dominant gender and ruling the world. According to science sorts, the female reign will be brief. A play is currently being performed in South Korea called Robot Princess and the Seven Dwarfs with an android actress competently playing the lead role. Over the next 25 years, scientists say, most jobs currently done by both men and women will be done by robots. Meaning? Androids will rule, men and women will drool. Andy Juniper can be visited at www.strangledeggs.com, contacted at ajjuniper@gmail.com, or followed at www.twitter.com/thesportjesters.