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www.oakvillebeaver.com The Oakville Beaver, Friday March 14, 2008 - 37 Gay student athletes face many hurdles D ennis Yeo still remembers the day that changed his life, though he would rather not. A 14-year-old student who excelled academically and was two years younger than his Grade 11 peers because he had skipped grades, Yeo was in the school's study hall with two friends. He was quietly reading when he noticed someone standing behind him. Yeo turned to see the captain of the junior football team. Behind the quarterback, his teammates formed a circle that surrounded Yeo and his friends. "Why don't you get on your hands and knees?" he said to Yeo. "I know you want to." "Many athletes, as well as non-athletes, believe that being gay makes you less of a man; it makes you more feminine. It's a huge misconception and one that a gay man deals with every day in every aspect of his life. When it comes to sports, it is viewed that the gay man is less physical, less athletic, less talented." David, a 22-year-old former Oakville high school athlete SPECIAL REPORT In a three-part series, reporter Herb Garbutt examines the challenges facing gay youths in Halton. In the final installment, tomorrow, he writes about the efforts of one group to provide support for gay teens. Yeo had yet to tell anyone, even his family, that he was gay. But in high school, you didn't have to make a public declaration. Being different was enough to be singled out. Yeo believes it was the culture of sports that drove his tormentor to humiliate him. "I don't think men understand the difference between sexuality and masculinity. They figure they have to nurture their masculinity, and what better way than exerting your power over someone else," said the Burlington resident. "Everything that goes on in society is exacerbated in that jock world." While the event that forever changed Yeo took place in the 1960s, in a much more conservative time, Yeo contends not much has changed. Sarah, a successful Burlington high school athlete who has only told her close friends that she is a lesbian, agrees with Yeo's assessment of the sports environment. "A lot of teenage guys seem to have all their social interactions centred around proving how masculine and heterosexual they are," she said. "The sports culture is less accepting of gays, especially gay guys. I think it ties in with adolescent boys trying to prove their masculinity, which athletes tend to be particularly determined to do." It was the sports culture that convinced Brock Stacey to give up sports in high school. He played basketball in Grade 9 at Nelson High School, but after coming out in Grade 10, he decided not to play. "I didn't want to make myself or anyone else uncomfortable," he said. "It was upset- DEREK WOOLLAM / OAKVILLE BEAVER GRIDIRON MEMORIES: Dennis Yeo was in Grade 11 when he was openly taunted and bullied about being gay by the high school football captain. Although that happened in the 1960s, Yeo, a former teacher, laments that not much has changed in 40 years. ting because I was "I don't think men understand score: National good at sports and if it the difference between sexuality Football League, wasn't such a big deal three; Major League and masculinity. They figure they to other people, I Baseball, two; and the would have kept play- have to nurture their masculinity National Basketball and what better way than exerting ing." Association, one). All You don't have to your power over someone else. did so after they look any further than Everything that goes on in society retired. the four major Yeo can relate. is exacerbated min that jock world." leagues to realize that After finishing uniliving an openly-gay versity he became an Dennis Yeo lifestyle is not widely elementary school accepted in the sportteacher. Afraid of losing world. Only six professional athletes in ing his job and later his pension, he kept his the four major team sports have publicly sexuality a secret except for a select few peoannounced they are gay. (If you're keeping ple. "I came out socially, but I couldn't afford to do it professionally. I was afraid I'd be fired -- it doesn't have to be for your sexuality," he said. "For an athlete to come out, their sponsorships, endorsements revolve around the talent they have. They make big bucks. You would be putting it on the line. A lot them probably think, I can put it off. I can be gay when I'm 35." If ever. The National Hockey League is still shut out in coming out. In the 90-year history of the league, 6,283 players have played in the league -- none of them were gay, if you're willing to believe that. David, a 22-year-old college student from Oakville, said he's not surprised athletes don't reveal their sexuality, given the way gays are viewed. He faced the same issues as a gay high school athlete. "Many athletes, as well as non-athletes, believe that being gay makes you less of a man; it makes you more feminine. It's a huge misconception and one that a gay man deals with every day in every aspect of his life. When it comes to sports, it is viewed that the gay man is less physical, less athletic, less talented." Bob Stacey, a phys-ed teacher at Nelson High School and a self-described `man's man' who coaches the school's football and basketball teams, said his upbringing in a sports environment may have contributed to him being caught off guard when his son, Brock, told him he was gay. "I was naïve to my own son," he said. "Grades 12 and 13 girls would bring him home and he was in Grade 9 and I thought, `Geez, he's got something going.' He was fun, attractive, but not a threat to them. And I was in my own athletic world, pretty naïve, maybe even to ignorance." It was by no means easy for Brock Stacey to come out. 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