12et that teenage g often, cope le have more eatit Psycholog it 3 C 8 < culties of teena a "crisis of co s followed hund hood to adoles interesting trenc Eightâ€"yearâ€"c honestly. They ic age eekend, Sunday, October 16, 1994 â€" 24 Oakvme Beav Eightâ€"yearâ€"old girls speak their mind honestly. They talk openly about what they feel and what they think of others. They see conflict as a sign of a healthy relationship, a natural way of resolving disputes. They talk openly about anger, and take disagreement and difference for granted. hy do girls have a hardâ€" er time in the teenage years than boys do? Research has shown that teenage girls get depressed more often, cope less well with stress, and have more eating disorders, than boys. Psychologist Carol Gilligan of Harvard University attributes the diffiâ€" culties of teenage girls to what she calls a "crisis of connection." Her research followed hundreds of girls from childâ€" hood to adolescence, and found some interesting trends. Teenage girls have difficulties with ‘image of perfection‘ V‘ L '@ Book Your Christmas Party With Ils Wihothor unnr nosdlo ars annial ar nntnnarata tua Bring in this ad receive lunch for two in the atrium restaurant when you book a tour of the facility We have all the equipment to make your party a success. No need to "beg or borrow" a hodgeâ€"podge of items such as tables, chairs, punch bowls etc. We have everything! Including a large selection of decorations paper items. Our complete rental equipment, and our experience is at your disposal. Call us and have a Merry Christmas party. 44%‘1‘3 t 845'830 I "oAMLE _‘ 845'830 I Also, Don‘t forget Halloween... HAVE A BOOâ€"TIFUL PARTY! Rent everything you need at COMPLETE PARTY RENTALS [\ Whether your needs are social or corporate, we will provide you with the areas most complete facility professional service. A stateâ€"ofâ€"theâ€"art facility at the Oakville Burlington border providing a fully equipped kitchen for your needs an executive chef for customized menus. International cuisine * Personalized service. Conference Centre and Atrium Restaurant To book your Christmas Party call 319â€"0319 / 5420 North Service Rd., â€" s , â€"â€"Reimer Tower, Burlington _ , The Burlington At stake are praise, attention, love and popularity â€" both at home and at school. Paradoxically, in their search for closer relationships, they are taught to remove part of themselves from the relaâ€" tionship, by not expressing their real When these same girls enter adolesâ€" cence, however, they struggle with images of perfection and idealized relaâ€" tionships. They think to care for themâ€" selves is "selfish" or "wrong." They come up against enormous pressures to be perfect girls â€" quiet, calm and kind. "THE NO PROBLEM PARTY PLACE" / . people DJ for Dancing Lots of Parking on our private lot, centrally located. (N.W. corner of Bronte Rd. Lakeshore) Call now reserve soon for popular dates Separate ~ Cheques Fix A R Menu % â€" Cash * _ Bar R Private Rooms a â€" More * Variety Up to 70 people 2 Only 20 She thought they "should make the cave bigger so they could all have their own paths." When she was 11 years old, however, her answer had changed; she thought it was right because "you should always be nice to a neighbor." She comâ€" pletely denied her own wishes for the idea of being nice and kind. Nor surprisingly, Tanya became quite popular with other girls . . . but she Healthy development, involving selfâ€" expression and allowing your true feelâ€" ings, puts the girls into conflict in the world they live in. These conflicts were found not only in the research setting, but in real life. When Tanya was eight years old, they asked about the Aesop‘s fable where a family of moles naively invite a porcupine to live with them durâ€" ing the winter. Tanya said it was dumb, "a real bad combination." 121 Ask for Eddie feelings, especially anger. NO FA 1O EM MO peosi EM NO PPoBLEM MO pPoBi FM NO . pPoBLFM O pPoBi FA O FM Surely boys have pressures to be perâ€" fect too. But the idealized notion of a boy typically includes a more assertive, She admitted to the interviewer that "I hate her, but I don‘t know how to act because I have to be nice." Interestingly, in a letter to the interviewer after the experiment, Tanya talked at length about "the tyranny in her life of the image of the perfect girl." In the eighth grade, for example, an unpopular girl started following her around. Tanya was totally unable to conâ€" front her. Tanya became deceptive â€" making plans and not showing up, eavesdropping on phone conversations to find out what the other girl was feelâ€" ing or where she was going. became involved in an increasingly complicated and futile attempt to be always nice and kind, never mean or rude. Book your Christmas luncheons and parties now while good dates are still available. D.J. is included and we can accommodate up to 250 people.( Phone Bill for a great deal today! Ofitdm Bake Cfof (QGouinny Glub 336â€"4875 1137 #1 SIDEROAD BURLINGTON 5 minutes from Downtown Duringion The world is changing rapidly. Women are entering the work force en mass, out of necessity as well as by choice. If we are to prepare our children for the world that lies ahead, it is imporâ€" tant encourage independence, honesty, even some aggressiveness in all our children. We should not be teaching girls to think they have to be nice to everyone, at all costs. independent and aggressive style. There is more emphasis for boys on "what are you going to do with your life," and this makes some aggressiveness and indeâ€" . pendence necessary in order to make their way in the world. It allows the.. boys to behave more honestly, express their true feelings, have relationships â€" that are based on the real person rather/‘ than something they‘re pretending or . want to be. It enables boys to handle . conflicts more directly and openly. 7