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12 economist suntribune family is sues saturday sept 21 2002 bullying airy by kathleen griffin staff writer bullying is not about con flict its about contempt until parents and educa tors understand that crucial difference many antibullying programs will have little effect according to parenting expert and author barbara coloroso bullying is not a fight between two kids or sibling rivalry ms coloroso ex plained in a recent interview from her colorado home conflict resolution skills help but they wont stop it its not typical anger its hos tility its an imbalance of power and the belief bullies have the right to exclude those are the psychological advantages bullies have ms colorosos first book kids are worth it was a national best seller in both canada and the us and was praised for its nononsense practical advice on parenting she helps parents teach their children to take owner ship of their problems giving them the gift of inner confi dence in dealing with them and provides tips in nonvio lent conflict resolution kids can apply every day her second book parenting through crisis 11fmjjepemrfimeldjgm with every new annijjlffembership receive off all initiation fees valid until n sept 2302 mtness aefbbics centre k6swctsun 7 sinceil992 wwwworksfitnesscom r 190 bullock drive next door to loblaws 05 4717871 wlty is state fartn your first and best choice for your insurance and financial needs superior financial strength one of the largest claims networks in north america outstanding customer service call or visit us today to find out how state fann can help meet your insurance and financial needs kevin 1 joanne freeman agent keith jupp ftef agent 3 centre st kjw- sx g ste 201 markham ont mr it a 9052941562 9275 markham rd suite 207 al 16 ave markham ont 9052947415 john calovic agent 548 carlton rd unit 204 markham ont 9054777244 state farm q3 insurance state farm is therefor life statefarmcom state farm life insurance company canadian head office scarborough ontario mcnaughton agent 7725 birchmount rd ste 45 markham ont 905 4794900 rick allington agent 50 mcintosh or ste 215 markham ont 9054771107 andrew mctaggart agent 190 bullock drive unit 3 markham ont 905 2946357 3 o o 3 helping kids in times of loss grief and change was also well received and she was approached by publish er harper collins canada last year to produce her third title the bully the bullied and the bystander the markham public libraries is playing host to an evening with barbara coloroso monday night at the crystal fountain banquet hall in milliken the internationally recog nized speaker will discuss several areas in her new book including what bullying and sexu al bullying is and isnt warning signs and steps to take if your child is being bullied how bystanders aid and abet the bully and how they can become peacemakers helping kids develop an inner code of compassion and integrity ms coloroso believes the combination of a bully who gets what he wants from his target a bullied child who is afraid to tell bystanders who watch participate or ignore the bullying and adults who dismiss the behaviour as simple teasing can create a deadly mix we have enough inci dents in the past to convince us its not just the bully who can terrorize the community its the bullied child as well she said bullied children can later act out their frustration against others the bystander has a crit- barbara coloroso bullying expert speaks at markham library fundraiser tuesday night ical role to play in breaking the cycle and adults must support that eightysix per cent of the time there are bystanders but only 13 per cent of the time will a child report it or step in we want to change that i believe you can teach every kid in the school to be involved she urges parents teachers and caregivers to teach chil dren how to deal with every aspect of bullying because they will likely be in at least one of those three roles at one point in their lives call it what it is she advised dont try to rational ize the behaviour try to solve the problem maintaining dig nity for everyone involved including the bully expelling a bully only fur ther isolates an already dis turbed child she points out a bully has good leader ship skills hes just using them in the wrong way she explained if they are isolated out of school not taking responsibility for their actions well thats how they turn into an uneducated angry hostile contemptuous adults and having one good friend can make all the differ ence to a child both bully and bullied we can teach them friendship skills and how to be thankful for friends and express that if a child has one good friend willing to step in and say knock it off to a bully or to tell the friend who is bullying to stop his behav iour in a civilized way these are important everyday skills her sept 23 appearance is part of a fundraiser for the markham libraries investing in excellence campaign and proceeds go to the purchase of youthoriented materials she will be on hand to sign her new book at 6 pm and after her speech which runs between 7 and 9 pm at the crystal fountain banquet hall 60 mcdowell gate off 14th avenue west of kennedy road tickets are 15 in advance and available at all markham public library locations or 20 at the door for more information call 9055137977 copies of the bully the bullied and the bystander will be available for purchase that evening or through wwwharpercanadacom m staples wwwbusi nessdepot com offering you more in markham new poster printing service while you shop print posters up to 42 wide faderesistant photo realistic images for indoor or outdoor use waterresistant images when laminated only 20 for a 20 x 30 poster digital camera copycentre laminating 20 x 30 posfer 97 plaque mounting 20 x 30 poster 89 s- photosmart 318 digital camera 23 megapixels 1 75 lcd 8 mb internal memory plus an expansion card slot our price instant rebate 22999 3000 price after rebate iff 99 471681 coupon code 9919400000000000 j bring in 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