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stux weekender saturday march 28 1998 p 11 show you care jays or go perch elsewhere from where i live bruce stapley so now the toronto blue jays want me to help them bring it on in their latest attempt to shore up ticket sales that have been sagging ever since their glory day back in 1993 the blue birds are appealing to small town hacks like yours truly yes sir this assortment of million aires in play clothes or at least the brew meisters running the show are looking to those of us whose job it is to report whats going on at the local arenas high school gymnasiums and ball dia monds to carry their new message and that message is according to an elabo rate folderful of glossy brochures print outs and jazzy decals dropped off in my office mail box the other day that this is a team of caring communityminded athletes they have decided that this is the tact to take if they are to win back a strong fan base with a renewed interest in the grand old game my personalized package even included samples of the teams radio scripts designed to portray an image of folksy aw shucks guys who have got nothing better to do during the offsea son than sit down and write cheesy poems walt whitman isnt about to be knocked off his perch by these jocks- turnedpoets you may have heard them so when im at the plate and filled with doubt i do my best to knock the mother out writes one inspired jay how about this one hello little oriole perched high upon a bough come out and play with your friend the blue jay this gem concludes with a less than endearing exhortation but dont slide into home little fellow because ill knock the air right out of your lungs heres a sport that has gone to such great lengths to alienate people going so far as to pull the plug on the world series a few seasons back and now they are trying to play the were just plain folks card complete with an attempt to bring on board small town sports scribes in an effort to sell their overpriced product big league baseball family fun what do you mean youre not willing toshell out a hundred bucks for half decent tickets to take your kids to a game not to mention the high priced but chintzy skydome food the parking and traffic hassles and the fact that most of the game is spent sitting around watching these overpaid jocks spit and scratch themselves a friend of mine a trained medical professional trying to survive let alone flourish in these days of increased operating costs and government- imposed income ceilings has long questioned the values of a society will ing to lavish such rich rewards on pro athletes whose contribution to the com mon good is so minimal ive come to agree with him anyway because im fair heres what im going to do if the blue jays are serious about their grandiose claims of being community minded and car ing im going to issue an invitation right here for them to send a delegation of players and officials to take part at an upcoming local event such as stouf- fvilles strawberry festival or uxbridges art in the park hey anyone who can produce such soothing poetry must have an appreciation of things artistic right maybe they could sell raffle tickets on a roger clemens jer sey with the money going to the local hospital or put on a clinic for local ball players sit in the dunk tank help out at a fundraising car wash for a local team then maybe well give them some ink w coif c i u t present n mnimg f fine smttk and premium cifomrs at angus glen wednesday april 1 1998 7 pm wednesday may 6 1998 7 pm 3000 includes scotch seminar with tasting cigar question answer with sample gourmet hors doeuvres raffle prizes for reservations call 8870090 ext 206 last chance specials lease rates will not be this low again a powerful new novel tkat weaves bajan folklore with tlie struggles of immigrant workers in todays toronto meet cecil fester who will be discussing his new novel stjoaimbst tctr take home an autographed copy sunday march l 330430 pm cavalier sedan isb pkg air auto cassette abs air bags 15 wheels plus more stk 80108 199 chevy venture air auto cassette deep tint abs front side air bags plus plus stk 80607 olds silhouette loaded with style leather plus all options 3175 higtaag 7 east of woodbine ave markham ontario l3r 0j5 9054771756 cliaptej graft book are jwt tve btguutwg jlsa lus no security deposit required this offer ends march 31 1998 dont mlssouf inte pv chevrolet o l d s m o b i l e sale hours moatlnm 9 am 9 pm fd9ulf prn stajnpjb the little dealership with a big v 5336 highway 7 gust east of mccowan 2941440 toll free 18008922209 wwwautonetcanorthpointe ii lease prices based on 2000 down or equivalent trade plus 1st fit all taxes oac uc ins extra 20000 km per year m vi si k ont pay thjkt traffic ticket j traffic ticket experts is staffed by expolice officers who will act as your agent in court defending all traffic tickets speeding accidents careless impaired etc call for free consultation guaranteed expects sf ea 905 9403000 4418 hwy 7 east unionville