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p4 weekender january 1 1994 ttt f t f f f mst h nt write us or fax us numbers at right radical change can improve our lives we begin 1994 with the con viction that radical changes to our country and communities are upon us some doctors believe our pub lic health care is in collapse school boards face bankruptcy and many of the services tax payers expect are being phased out indeed taxpayers them selves are in revolt pretending they are not contributing to col lapse by going underground and evading taxes but times of change are times of opportunity an eggshell must crack open before a chick hatches without change we couldnt evolve pushing through the overbur dened bureaucratic systems in f viewpoint v jo ann stevenson our medical and educational structures are thousands of green shoots fresh innovative ideas exposure of abuses advanced technologies and most important an enlight ened public ready to assess what is of value in our society assess it and protect it a televised comparison between the debt crisis in new zealand and canada points out how similar the two nations are the former did face bankruptcy and its public is making the sacrifices needed to climb back again we too will be making sacri fices as well well be creating new systems that preserve what we agree is core to living in canada neither of our current tech niques is working for us duck ing taxes and voting politicians out of office for tackling the deficit is not going to take us to the good times new zealand sold its airline and its postal stations for starters we need to work together cre atively in handling our crisis merging school systems builds on strength dear editor mr hughes is absolutely right it is long past time that our two education systems were merged to produce one truly excellent program the present duplica tion of services and bureaucra cies is wasteful and inefficient there have to be enormous sav ings in combining thereby build ing on the strengths of both boards im not anticipating tax relief in spite of the outrageous proper ty taxes we all must pay but tax increases would surely be delayed if there were only one board i do believe that merging the two systems would allow lim ited resources to be used more effectively in classrooms across the region not supporting huge bureaucracies and office build- thank you for sparkle dear editor i would like to add my appre ciation to that expressed by kathryn wakely clare of markham in dec 18s week ender the many christmas lights that residents have up this year is a joy to behold thanks to all the markham residents who participate and add such sparkle to our community heather navarra markham ings there will be tremendous resis tance to such change of course primarily from those bureaucrats who should be trying to improve the educational system unfortunately they are much more interested in protecting their little empires and lucrative positions as mr hughes states in his excellent letter it will take lead ership and guts from our elected politicians to take on the entrenched bureaucracies and effect positive change who has it indeed glen morehouse stouffville fry- v adam by brian basset www for example new zealand companies which began to see their pollution as a signpost to inefficiency were able to make their business more environ ment friendly and more prof itable at the same time cana dian business can learn from the experience of those in the south pacific in this way well emerge streamlined efficient competi tive sustaining and humani tarian in the new years to come markham economist and sun stouffville tribune uxbridge tribune weekender edition a metrolaod community kewspaper patricia pappas publisher jo ann stevenson editorirwhief paula cr0well editor andrew ma1r editor debra weller director of advertising barry goodyear director of distribution vivian 0neil business manager pamela nichols operations manager markham 2942200 sales 7987624 classi fied 2944331 stouffville 6402100 uibridge 8529741 2948244 distribution and administration 9 heritage rd markham lsp ims fax markham 2941538 stouffville 640- s477 oxbridge 8524355 the markham economist and sun stouffville tri bune and uxbridge tribune published every wednesday and saturday is one of the mclroland printing publishing and distributing group of subur ban newspapers which includes ajax pickering nevs advertiser barrie advance brampton guardian burlington post collingwood connection elobicokc guardian the liberal georgetown inde pendentacton free press kingston this week lindsay this week milton canadian champion mississauga news north york mirror oakville bearer orillia today oshawawhiiby this week peterborough this week scarborough mirror the era banner contents not to be reproduced without written permission from the publisher subliminal sex ads dont sell zoodles tm sitting here with a tin can of x rated soup noodles in my hand the label reads libbys zoo dles noodle animals in tomato sauce i havent opened the can yet but the label assures me its chock full of slimy little pasta kangaroos lions zebras gorillas and bears the better to get the wee ones to eat their lunch right not according to a 42yearold mother in glace bay nova sco tia she says the zoodles can is the grocery store equivalent of the penthouse centrefold its gross its perverted its porno graphic the hawkeyed glace bay housewife insists that when she turns the can upside down she can clearly see male genitalia descending from the elephant on the label and also in a palm tree in the background i say that anybody who spends their leisure time turning cans of noodles upside down looking for genitalia in elephants and palm trees is a citizen in serious need of a hobby but let that pass she swears its there if i want to see softcore pornography sniffs the housewife i think i can go to an adult bookstore and get it easy for her to say shes proba bly rich have you priced the merchandise at the adult book stores lately outrageous a can of zoodles is a lot cheaper need less to say as soon as i heard of the controversy i streaked to my corner store bought a can of the unexpurgated noodles asked to have them wrapped in plain brown paper and galloped back to my house to be corrupted ive been looking for the naughty bits ever since what we have here is not an expose of adults only pasta its a resurgence of one of the great crazes of the late twentieth cen tury- subliminal sex in advertis ing it all started more than 20 years ago when a professor at the university of western ontario by the name of wilson bryan key gained international fame key claimed that advertisers were secretly brainwashing us by inserting smutty pictures in their work to make us buy their prod ucts key asserted- that every j ritz arthur black cracker had the word sex embedded on it 12 times on each side he discernedtwebreasted maidens in the ice cubes of liquor advertisements and wrote that once at a fast food restaurant hed felt compelled to order fried clams even though he doesnt like them while mopping clam juice off his chin key says he looked down and discovered the reason for his clam mania his place mat showed a picture of fried clams but if you looked really really closely you could see an orgy going on with images of oral sex and bestiality with a donkey uhhuh looney tunes or not keys idea upset a nervous public sublimi nal advertising was banned sales of ritz crackers and fried clams enjoyed a momentary upsurge but only momentary because subliminal advertising has one annoying flaw it doesnt work our own canadian broadcast ing corporation proved it in an experiment back in 1958 the cbc announced that a sublimi nal message would be broadcast across the nation during a specif ic program viewers were even told to be on the alert for it dur ing the program the message telephone now was flashed 352 times in a 30minute period nobody phoned on the other hand in the fol lowing weeks the cbc received thousands of letters from viewers insisting they had felt unac countable urges to get up go for a walk get a bottle of beer go to the bathroom no one guessed the correct message viewers were receptive the message just wasnt getting through and that was a straightforward message how does mister key or the glace bay housewife fig ure a hidden drawing of an ele phants wingwang is going to propel me to buy libbys zoodles by the case