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f4 w tt yiiui p4 tribune march 27 1991 m st stouffville smmmuzk no reason for postal miscues canada post has really done it this time local businessman don jackson has been receiving mail in his supermailbox that does not belong to him in fact it belongs to just about everyone but him he has received baby bonus cheques what appears to be letters from lawyers doctors and other peoples important documents as he says how would you like to be waiting for this mail and it doesnt arrive and it is not just other peoples mail that share the same box as jackson but it is mail from all over town the post office prides itself on a 98 per cent delivery rate within two days note that the post office says delivered where and to whom they are delivering is not included obviously when the socalled mulroney mailboxes came into effect we were assured they would streamline the entire system and get rid of the dead wood it would appear that the process has backfired if youve ever wondered why a payment wasnt received and your credit rating took a dive youre no longer in the dark wolves dont make terrific dance partners dances with wolves that sweeping western epic was the overwhelming favorite to take home the hardware from last nights academy awards i suppose i should have called the films star and director kevin costner to tell him that i had seen an omen which he could have interpreted as a positive sign for the sagassuccess last week driving out to port perry i glanced off to my left to see a most impressive sight a lone wolf was loping along the rolling hills parallel to highway 47 he wasfit especially large but like the wolf in the aforementioned picture he had two white socks on his front paws he ambled along at a good pace and when he encountered a farmers fence he rhade a sharp left and ran off into the trees this was my first encounter with wildlife of this sort since coming to southern ontario it was not however my first dance with a wolf back in my university days i was often strapped for cash and while that much has not changed i at least now own a car but back then i would usually make the 160kilometre journey back to my parents house to get some laundry done on the weekends and i would make it any way i could this usually amounted to bumming a ride off more fortunate students or else i would hitchhike a nasty practice really and one i dont not highly endorse as a means of transportation one cold november friday i was standing about 500 yards from a gas station near espanola thumbing for my next ride i leaned against a telephone pole for about half an hour without much success then i heard some yipping and snapping off my starboard side i turned to see three enormous timber wolves minute with mair gamboling across the field toward me they jumped and yapped and were obviously oblivious to my presence until they were about 100 feet from me they continued to play until the largest wolf spotted me at once all three stood like stones and stared at me with bright yellow eyes the smaller animals were of your normal wolfen variety brown coats mottled with black and white patches but the largest of the trio was snow white and stood at least four feet at the shoulder of course he looked to be about 80 feet at the shoulder to me i froze as the group nervously approached me heads down muzzles twitching this is it this is the end what away to go i said aloud throwing my hands up in resignation as the three made their way to the telephone pole just as the white wolf inched to within a dozen feet of me i could hear him breathing a pickup truck pulled over on the other side of the road the wolves backed off the driver rolled down his window and in amazement shouted hey are them wolves yes i screamed praising all things holy for my salvation well youd better hope you get a ride real soon he returned and drove off laughing i stood dumbfounded for a minute then i got mad completely forgetting about the critters behind me i began screaming and swearing and i tossed my laundry bag after him so that it burst and spilled my shorts all over the highway the wolves thinking theyd come across some loony who at best would likely upset their stomachs fled into the forest at that moment an opp officer pulled up im not supposed to do this but it looks like you could use a ride i wailed with joy gathered up my scanties and hopped in the cruiser i wanted the officer to chase after the clown in the pickup and charge him with failing to remain at the scene of a feeding frenzy but he laughed it off saying that wolves meant me no harm true as this might be you wont see me with my furthest digit stuck out anymore as far as im concerned thats an open invitation to a dance with wolves stouffvilleuxbridge tribune publisher editorinchief editor patricia pappas jo ann stevenson andrew mair advertising director business manager promotionsdistribution mgr operations manager debra weller chris bertram jennifer hutt pam nichols sjteff reporters tracy kibble enzo di matteo june caspersen photographers sjoerd witteveen steve somerville real estate joan marshman retail sales dayle ross mark saywell mitch paglia cathy genovese john mcrae classified ooreen deacon debbie amundsen uxbridge distribution ariene maddock published every wednesday by metroland printing publishing and distributing at 9 heritage rd marknam ontario l3p 1 m3 tel 2942200 second class registration number 1247 the stouffvilleuxbridge tribune published every wednesday at 54 main st w stouffville is one of the metroland printing publishing and distributing group of suburban newspapers which includes the acton free press ajaxpickering news advertiser aurora banner brampton guardian burlington post etobicoke advertiserguardian georgetown independent kingston this week lindsay this week marknam economist and sun milton champion mississauga news newmarket era oakville beaver oshawawhitby this week peterborough this week richmond hillthomhillaaughan liberal scarborough mirror topic newsmagazine willowdale mirror metroland printing publishing and distributing is a division of harlequin enterprises ltd national sales representative metroland corporate sales 4931300 6402100 8529741 honesty is now my best excuse 6it am prevented from coming in a consequence of a subsequent engagement oscar wilde an amusing excuse but one thats unlikely to endear you to your friends we all find ourselves making excuses periodically but unlike other skills this is one that doesnt seem to improve with practice ionce worked for a man who was notorious for his extracurricular dalliances since we shared an office it was hard to avoid overhearing numerous phone calls in which he explained to his spouse that he had to stay late for a client meeting charles got his comeuppance on his wedding anniversary nothing i heard him assure his wife smugly that morning would stand in the way of their planned celebration at 455 the sales director called him in and said the company was presenting an advertising plan to a major client that very evening and charless presence at the event was crucial there ensued a long and humiliating telephone conversation of which i heard both sides on account of the kates corne xw -ws- kafe unaccustomed ferocity of his wifes response he went to the meeting and she i later learned to her lawyer although most of us arent in charless league few people are immune to reliance on the occasional little white lie creative excuses abounded at school when the question of the whereabouts of ones homework arose although i sometimes managed to complete my weekend homework between 5 am and 8 am on monday sleeping in left me two alternatives a painful confession or an excuse which the more i worked on it the more i began to believe it myself simplicity i found worked best every morning we would drop our homework off on our teachers shelf before going into class i recall one occasion when my homework still untouched i assured my french teacher i had handed it in that very morning n after due consideration she nodded i remember seeing it she said i wonder where on earth i put it if i felt the guilt i should have i dont remember it all i can recall is an overwhelming sense of relief followed by irritation at my teachers carelessness since one of the first things we teach our children is the importance of honesty it takes a lot of verbal backpedaling to explain our own often murky motives when they catch us out in a lie whats worse the truth often comes out later on when they trained to be truthful broadcast it at a horribly inopportune moment nowadays im a lot more honest than i used tobe my newfound frankness however owes less to the pursuit of self- improvement than to the fact that i find it increasingly difficult to recall the reasons i gave for being unavailable for that scintillating tupperware party in the first place